Please read - my friend really needs some advice

[dustystar]

I wasn't sure where to post this but since she and her children's father are divorced i thought this topic would be ok.

My friend split from her ex a couple of years ago and he now lives a couple of hours drive away. When he left the children stayed with her. However her dd who is 8 has a lot of behavioural problems and the relationship between my freind and her dd deteriorated to the point where she felt she had no choice but to ask her ex to have dd for a while.

It was her last resort and not a choice she made lightly but she has 3 other children and her dd was making life intolerable for everyone. As her dd was having such problems (these started before the split) my friend had sought outside help and the SS were involved. She had organised family xounselling, counselling for her dd and a family conference to sort out other issues.

Since her dd went to live with her dad a couple of months ago he has cancelled everything and doesn't accept that her dd has any problems at all. Because they are no longer in the same borough then my friend has been told that her borough are no longer involved in her dd's welfare.

She gets to see her dd once a month and has very little knowledge about how things are for her. Naturally she is very concerned and wants her dd to get the help she needs. She had always planned on this being a temporary thing allowing her and dd to have the space they needed to work on their relationship but it looks as though it will be long term.

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to give some background. basically does my frined have any right to push for her dd to get counselling and also what she'd really like is for someone to help her and dd mend their relationship. Is she legally entitled to any help with this now that dd is no longer resident with her? Also she wants to be sure her dd is getting the letters she sends - is there any way she can do this without having to rely on her ex?

Does anyone have any advice for her please

TIA

Is your friend's ex willing to talk to her about things. If so then I would suggest that they try mediation to work through these issues together. if he refuses to talk then she should take legal advice. THe longer this goes on, the more difficult the relationship with her dd will become. she can (as a last resort) apply to the court for a contact order to see more of dd and a specific issue order to deal with the counselling particularly if this has been recommended by SS. In cases such as this a CAFCASS office would be appointed to prepare a report on what is in the best interests of the child and what is usually in the best interests of the child is to maintain a good and healthy relationship with both parents.

Thanks Layla

Her relationship with her ex is poor and he is unlikely to make an effort to help her with her relationship with her dd. I will mention CAFCASS to her.

She has a solicitor and is seeing him today so hopefully he'll be able to give her some advice but i said to her i'd ask on here for her as i have had some really good advice from mners over the years.