I need some advice PLEASE..

[mummyofaprincess]

Me and xp split in november.

I have a DD whos 3 and i`m 6 months pregnant.

Well he doesn`t want to know LO at all and never asks how LO is.

He hardly sees DD, only when hes not busy with OW (who he left me for) I`m not bitter about this at all, all i want is whats best for my DCs

I have a midwife appointment tomorrow and its DDs first day at nursey.

Its xps day off tomorrow and texted me to say he cant make the midwife but can make the nursey.

I have since texted back that i will go on my own to both as i don`t think its fair that he is totally blocking LO out, they are both his DCs

LO was planned so its not like he never wanted this baby.

The thing i`m getting at here is did i do the right thing?

I haven`t got anyone to talk to about this right now so please help me

all my friends havent got any children so they dont understand, and my family will be in bed now because of there early starts

It's a really difficult situation, I don't think stopping him seeing your DD on her first day of nursery is necessary or reasonable to be perfectly honest. I mean let's face it a midwife appointment isn't a massive deal, he would be going for you, not the LO as the baby has no clue whether or not he is there and quite simply doesn't care. My dp doesn't come to midwife appointments with me anyway!

The important thing is your DD feeling loved and supported by both parents - especially on first day of nursery I should think! Personally I would text him back saying DD would want him to be at nursery so you'll see him there at whatever time.

looking at it that way i do now feel in the wrong, i think i should call him, and say i`m sorry

I think it's hard for men sometimes to feel anything for a baby before it's born, as it doesn't feel real to them. So he probably sees the midwife appt as being related to you, rather than the baby, whereas the nursery is clearly a parental duty.

It sounds like he's treated you very badly, but for the sake of your DCs I'd try rise above that, and encourage him to have as much contact with them as possible - but for the LO I suspect you may need to wait until after the birth..

thankyou ladies i have said im sorry, and he is coming tomorrow, im just so stressed out right now, DD is still not in bed and is refusing to stay in bed for more then a minute

Sorry me again how do i delete this now? I`m not up on all that

Hi MOAP,

Don't feel bad, it's an impossible situation. I've been in a similar boat to you and things are only finally getting back on track. It's hard to know what the right thing to do is and you are always trying to do the best for your kids but sometimes in these highly emotional situations it's hard to think clearly.

Hope the midwife and nursery goes well ((Big Hug))

thankyou missingmyheels

Don't stress and don't worry and DON'T apologise ...you know I am in very similar situation and it is bloody hard to keep doing the right thing while they act as wankers......
FWIW my H didn't come to midwife /scans with me but was there at birth and is making "some" effort to see new LO - as much as these men ever seem to do...
You are doing great keep going

Oh and hope today goes ok for you ...

Macdoodle thank you so much for your support it really does mean alot.

I did call him and i just burst into tears and i had to put the phone down, i felt like an idiot as he kept saying whats the matter, he even text straight away to ask if anything had happend, i was just really stressed out.

I thought he would come because he never missed any with DD, but we have split so i should know better that he would want to disstant himself from anything like this.

He is coming to the nursery and i am glad he is as DD would want daddy to be there aswell.

I`m sure he loved it when i cried on the phone lol but i know i have done the right thing now

How are your girls? i bet you are so proud, i`ve just looked at the pictures and there both beautiful, welldone