Mine and my daughters father are not in a relationship (there’s been no animosity, very civil overall) so I technically class myself as a single mother. She’s 8 months now, and I’ve noticed as time has gone on, he is being way more careless and inconsistent with how often he sees her, asks about her etc. We’ve had the same conversation multiple times over these initial 8 months- I.e, me telling him I’m sick of his lack of support and inconsistency and reminding him how stressful single parenthood is, especially when she technically has two parents. Each time we have the conversation he acts like he understands, but weeks later we’re going over the same thing again. Plus he makes me feel irrational or overly emotional when I express how he’s affecting us. He’s not on the birth certificate ( he couldn’t make it to the appointment and hasn’t been arsed to book another) and he sees her literally once a week for a few hours (if that). He used to come in the week too, but that has randomly stopped out of nowhere. When he would come round, he was extremely rude and acted as if this is his house. He’d expect dinner, sexual favours and even open my cupboards looking for food without asking, which in my eyes is ridiculous since we are not in a relationship and we have both established that we won’t be. He barely texts me anymore to ask how she is, and never lets me know in advance prior to taking her on Sunday. Sometimes I text him with important stuff about her and he ignores me and never responds. It’s actually gaslighting me into believing I am needy or something? When I have no interest in him whatsoever for myself. He makes me feel like I’m begging him to converse with me, when the reality is it’s just about his daughter. Last week he didn’t contact me at all, I had to message him on the day to ask if he was seeing her. Over this period of time he has been ridiculously inconsistent (turning up two hours late, changing the time way too late, turning up late when he knows I have plans etc.) Bearing in mind he takes her usually at night on Sunday’s and brings her back on Monday mornings (which gives me NO time to relax or recuperate from a stressful week). He hasn’t provided anything for her (his family have been very attentive regarding toys and clothes though) and even asking him to buy more formula powder is met with stupid questions (‘how has it finished already?’) and all he really does is buy nappies and wipes when I’m low on funds. I am grateful for this of course, but the last thing I want for my daughter is a faceless dad who picks and chooses when she’s important (my dad was in and out and then disappeared when I was around 6). He also cannot stick to basic requests. For example, she is now eating 2 meals a day as well as bottles, so I provide him with food for her when he takes her. One time he said ‘I couldn’t be arsed’ and another he hadn’t touched or opened the pouch of food id put in her bag. I understand that I should be grateful (albeit the bare minimum) but I can’t help but think I’d be better off on my own since I’m pretty much alone anyway. I give her everything she needs and she is the light of my life. Everything I do is for her and I don’t want a father who doesn’t match that. He works full time and is very busy outside of work (although this isn’t an excuse in my eyes as I have family who work a lot and still make time for her) but today is the last straw. Once again he hasn’t messaged me, I’ve had to contact him first, and his response was ‘I can come at 6:30 because I’ve picked up an extra shift at work’. I completely understand wanting to strive towards goals etc, but why take an extra shift on the day you have with your daughter? His reasoning in the past has been that’s he’s working to provide for her, but how does that work when you’re missing her development and barely bond with her? Now is a crucial time for her because she’s changing rapidly, and he barely knows her. I’m starting to feel as though she is just a burden to him and he only sees her as an obligation as he didn’t want her in the first place. He kept trying pretty much throughout the whole pregnancy to convince me to abort her. My daughter deserves a father who loves her and wants to be around her, and he isn’t providing that in my eyes. AIBU to want to tell him to F off until he shows more consistency and care? Be nice please.