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Original poster

Court/ Mediation

12 replies

Juniper899 · 21/03/2022 17:10

Hi, just wondering if anyone had any advice.
My sons dad wants to go to mediation to decide on childcare arrangements. I refuse to do this as I don't trust his intentions and not sure where it could end up.
The problem is he thinks I am asking him to see his son too much. (The argument is over a Sunday - I think he should do every Sunday he thinks it should be every other)
I am not stopping access, I have not said I will stop access.
Can he take me to court for anything? I think he is wanting to do mediation in part for this reason.

OP posts:
yummygummy · 21/03/2022 19:18

He could apply for a child arrangements order that stipulates how much contact he is to have. However, that would normally be applied for if the non resident parent wants more contact, not less. I'm afraid you can't force him to have more contact if he does not want it. Unless he is/was abusive, I don't think you have much to lose going to mediation? Maybe you could settle on an extra afternoon i.o. Sunday?

Starlightstarbright1 · 22/03/2022 02:22

If he doesn't want every sunday nothing you can do..
Why do you want every Sunday? Is that the only access he wants?

cherryonthecakes · 22/03/2022 08:24

The reality is that NRP can dictate how often they see the child. The bar is low for NRP and I suspect he wants a third person to say EOW is fine.
A CAO is not a legal expectation on when he sees the child, it is about you making the child available. He could not turn up on the Sundays that he doesn't want and there'd be nothing that you can do. Your ex won't be forced to have his child more than he wants- if he said once a month then he'd get that.

NorthernSpirit · 22/03/2022 14:18

It comes across (IMO) you are being controlling & unreasonable.

The dad wants to go to mediation to discuss.

You refuse to go to mediation to discuss.

YOU think he should do every Sunday (this sounds controlling, like you are dictating contact.

Yes - he can take you to court for a CAO and it would go straight to court as you have refused mediation.

Original poster
Juniper899 · 22/03/2022 16:32

@NorthernSpirit completely wrong. He sees his other children one day per week, he should apply the same effort to my son. He would never dream of only seeing his other two EOW. He barely gets any 'day' time with our son as it is. And Sunday isn't even a full day, it's from lunch. So EOW in my opinion is not enough, for them to bond. I won't be going to mediation, I don't trust his intentions, and my opinion won't change so it is pointless.

OP posts:
Original poster
Juniper899 · 22/03/2022 16:34

@NorthernSpirit hilarious

OP posts:
NorthernSpirit · 22/03/2022 16:55

You can’t force (sadly) the man to have a relationship with the children.

You might think that he should apply the same effort to your son, but you can’t force this.

In your opinion EOW might not be enough (and I agree and it’s so refreshing to hear of a mother who isn’t stopping contact) but you can’t dictate, force or control.

Just my opinion (which you asked for on a public forum).

titchy · 22/03/2022 16:58

OP even if a court order said he had every Sunday there is absolutely nothing you can do to force that sort of contact. If he doesn't turn up there is no punishment.

loopycurtains · 22/03/2022 21:12

To answer your question, I can't see what he can possibly take you to court for. As far as I recall from my mediation sessions, they aren't binding, therefore whatever is agreed relies on both parties sticking to it out of goodwill. My ex broke every single agreement within about a month so was completely pointless.
Plus I seem to recall they were confidential and not allowed to be used in any court proceeding.

Amblu81 · 20/03/2023 11:12

@Juniper899 how did you resolve this?
I am having similar to this. He wants different contact. I need ex to have 3 saturdays out of 4 so that I can work. He wants every other weekend as his social life is suffering. He took me to mediation. Mediator and I have suggested all sorts of compromises....3 in 4 over Summer months (self employed wedding coordinator so long hours and early starts. Difficult to find childcare on saturday as no family nearby) To drop DC off Saturday eve so he can have Sat night/Sunday for social life, he has his every other week but pays extra maintenance as I literally cannot afford to live without my self employed work. He has refused all. His way or nothing.

We have solicitors involved now but still no further forward!

Helpplease1011 · 21/10/2025 00:48

Amblu81 · 20/03/2023 11:12

@Juniper899 how did you resolve this?
I am having similar to this. He wants different contact. I need ex to have 3 saturdays out of 4 so that I can work. He wants every other weekend as his social life is suffering. He took me to mediation. Mediator and I have suggested all sorts of compromises....3 in 4 over Summer months (self employed wedding coordinator so long hours and early starts. Difficult to find childcare on saturday as no family nearby) To drop DC off Saturday eve so he can have Sat night/Sunday for social life, he has his every other week but pays extra maintenance as I literally cannot afford to live without my self employed work. He has refused all. His way or nothing.

We have solicitors involved now but still no further forward!

@Amblu81 If you ever read this what happened with your situation please ? I’m in a similar one and would appreciate the advice thank you

Kellogs4 · 29/10/2025 19:31

You need to read up on Google. Why can't he do EOW? Refusing mediation means the other party with be giving a C100 form and then they can apply to the courts. It won't look good on you OP that you have refused.

I don't see the point of Sunday from lunch. Surely EOW would be best? How old is your Son?

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