Passport renewal

[Needanewadventure2021]

Hiya

This may be in the wrong place but as i am a lone parent I thought I'd try here.

My DS passport expired in 2020 and I am in the process of renewing it.
His photo needs to be certified via an email to an authorised professional. A few have offered to do this.

My question is everyone knows my DS by my surname which is different to his BC. His name was changed via deedpoll 5 years ago on the basis his dad was absent and couldn't be contacted which is still the case. I fully understood that his name change deedpoll document may not be accepted without a court order however it has, everywhere without any question. So everywhere AND people know my child by my surname.

I really wish the passport office would accept the deedpoll document but I do not have a court/residency order and his Dad has made himself uncontactable. I obtained legal advice which basically told me not to bother pursuing any order as it was unnecessary. I wouldn't be stopped travelling and it would reopen contact/communication from someone who was very abusive to us.
As unfair as I feel it is, given his dad has been absent now 6.5 years, I have accepted my DS passport will have to be issued in his birth surname (he has no idea what the name is). But what do I do about people only knowing him by my surname?

What questions do they ask when asking them to certify the photo?

I really wish the passport would allow an also know by name but they wont

Why didn't you go through the court? Can you do it now?

Solicitor advised not to as its costly and risks bringing him back into our lives

You'll just have to tell whoever verifies the photo what the story is. I assume you've spoken to the passport office about it?

Yes. The will need to see the court/residency order or written permission from other parent

Just warn whoever is verifying that the surname on his birth certificate, and therefore his passport, aren't what he goes by day to day.

I have to do this for mine, as I don't go by my first name - so every one calls me e.g. Jane, when my full name is Louise Jane Smith. It's always been fine.

I thought a deedpoll was a legal document and therfore had to be accepted?

@IstayedForTheFeminism

I thought a deedpoll was a legal document and therfore had to be accepted?

Not if the deed poll was issued without the consent of all those with parental responsibility

On the online passport application it tells you what you need to tell the person who is completing the ID check. It's very good. So it won't fall apart there as long as you tell them 👍🏻

From a deed poll site:

Please note, the issue of a Deed Poll by us is no guarantee that all official record holders, e.g. school, doctor, passport office etc, will change your child’s name records. This is because by law, official record holders should satisfy themselves that all those with parental responsibility have consented to your child’s name change. If the consent of the father is not obtained, an official record holder can refuse to change your child’s name records despite your circumstances. However, our experience is that this rarely happens except with the passport office. The official position of HM Passport Office concerning the issue of children’s passports where the father has parental responsibility is to request a court order. It may be that your passport application will be successful given your circumstances. However, you may still be asked for a court order.

Court won’t change it anyway, I was told by a solicitor that court would not agree to changing my daughters name even though ex is absent because they believe that kids should always have a connection to their father even if he is absent. So no guarantee court would change it anyway, I was told not to bother. Passport won’t accept the name change if it wasn’t done with consent. Just explain to people it’s not a big deal.

I was told this too that a court wouldn't change the name anyway as they like to keep a connection to the absent parent. Absolutely stupid if you ask me!!!

I know I'm over worrying. It's only the passport office that won't accept the deedpoll. It's OK, I will just explain my situation to the person certifying

Yeah it’s pathetic, want a child to keep a connection to someone who doesn’t want a connection with them my ex wouldn’t let me change it just to spite me, I asked when she was a baby and he said no. Solicitor told me I wouldn’t get anywhere in court.

@AHungryCaterpillar mine said No too. But he actually told me it was to spite me.

I've been questioned at the airport each time I've taken him away. Really makes me cross when his dad has zero presence in my child's life.

There's nothing we can do it seems so I refuse to waste money on going down the correct avenues for it not to be successful

There really should be something that says if a man (let’s face it it’s mainly men) hasn’t seen his child in x amount of years he loses his PR. I really don’t know why there isn’t, how can you have PR for a child you don’t even see?! We may be going away this year and I refuse to ask an absent man for permission I’ve considered taking it to court to get a CAO but like you I don’t want to risk him wanting contact again.

I really dont understand the problem.

You know these people. They must know you're a single parent. They must know your child has an absent father. Just tell whoever you ask that the passport will be in their legal name rather than their known as name, but they will still recognise your child. They know your kid. They know you. They know your situation. Show them the birth certificate if you want to. Just explain they have a known as name but will be legal name on passport.

This is a non issue. I go through the exact same thing btw. Family friend signed for them. Family friends know my former partner and their surname and therefore my children's legal surname. Totally different from the name used every day at school and doctors etc. No problem at all.

But these people don't know the background. And I was just asking a question. It's not really something I need to discuss ever. The people who have offer to certify haven't known me from my child's birth. But I'll just discuss it with them.

I hear conflicting things. About after so long an absent parent doesn't stand a chance retaining their rights. But unfortunately it seems they are able to retain them regardless. It baffles me how an absent parent even has rights. My biggest regret was putting him on the BC. As that very night he disappeared for weeks. And then kept doing so until he was totally absent.
Its never to do with the child though. Its about keeping control over the mother which makes me so angry