DD13 refusing to go to school. Need advice

[StarCourt]

Really need some advice/ideas with this please if any of you have been through similar.
DD has fairly recently started refusing to go to school. She said she dreads going, it's exhausting, she doesn't enjoy it, the lessons are constantly disrupted by 'dumb' kids.
She has had issues with her friendship group dwindling over the last 6 months and those ex friends becoming tormentors towards her and her remaining friends. DD is the sort of child that just wants to blend into the background and not stand out in any way or make herself noticeable.
We've had 2 meetings with school Head of Year and Pastoral care in the last 2 weeks. They've given me a couple of online groups for DD to join and her GP told me to make a self referral to the equivalent of CAMHS in our area. All of which ive done. Ive also started checking out online schooling but my god it's expensive.
The other issue is DD's dad who she has refused to see since June last year, we don't have a good relationship and I haven't mentioned any of this to him yet. DD had 8 months of counselling because of issues with her dad.
But every school day is horrendous with DD crying and crying, refusing to get dressed etc. Later in the day she might say mum I want to go to school tomorrow afternoon but then the next day she can't go through with it.
I listen, I talk to her, I try to reassure her, we have lovely hugs. We generally get on very well but I'm so worried she will become isolated which won't help her mental health and her education is already suffering too.
We need help.

If DD cannot attend school the LA have a statutory duty to provide alternative education under s.19 of the Education Act 1996.

Don’t deregister. It is easier to get support if DD is on the roll of a school even if she can’t attend. Bluntly you are someone’s problem whereas if you EHE it is too easy for professionals to sweep DD’s needs under the carpet and for the LA to say you are making suitable alternative arrangements for DD’s education thereby relieving them of their duties. You don’t need to pay for online schooling.

You should also apply for an EHCNA, IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

Thanks @Imitatingdory I've never heard of that and school haven't mentioned it. But this is very early doors I suppose as it's a recent situation.
What could alternative education provision look like ?

Schools are seeing more of this, because students who experienced home learning during lockdown had their eyes opened to that potential. And of all a sudden, “but you HAVE to be in school” doesn’t add up, because they’ve seen that there are other options.

I really don’t know whether it’s better that these children are scaffolded to get them back into school, or whether we accept that there are round pegs and square holes and it’s time to be more accommodating. Whether long term , which is better for the young person ?

All schools are aware of this. Please reassure DD she’s not alone, if that helps. I’d be calling up school asking them what scaffolding they’re going to put in place. It’s far harder to get a student to come back to school if they’ve stopped attending. So it’s in their interests to support her now.

@2DemisSVP that does make sense however school have said that because we are not currently in lockdown their online lessons provision is no longer available.

Ask about flexi schooling although many schools aren't keen. If you de register unless you are in certain parts of Wales you won't receive financial contribution towards educating as it becomes your responsibility to provide your Dd with an education appropriate to her age and ability. (Even there it's not towards online schooling it's vouchers for certain things I believe).
You can however provide that education yourself with help from Home Education groups on social media and resources online for very little outlay compared to actual online schooling, there's huge amounts of help and resources out there and a massive Home Ed community. You don't have to follow the National Curriculum as long as it's appropriate education and can choose your own hours to fit around work etc and there's groups in most areas to arrange meet ups and trips if your Dd felt able to socialise once she'd settled in. You can still apply for ECHP etc too. You can also facilitate GCSE or Alevels or college courses later if that's what she chooses.

The statutory duty lies with the LA, not the school, which is probably why the school is reluctant to offer it to pupils. The alternative provision depends on individual needs, it could be home 1:1 tuition, online 1:1 tuition, online schooling, hospital school, small group tuition at a centre, 1:1 tuition at a centre… The LA should begin provision when it becomes clear the pupil will miss 15 days. The days do not need to have already been missed and they don’t need to be consecutive either.

Separate to medical needs tuition the benefit of applying for an EHCP is it can include therapies and other provision as well as tuition.

I wouldn’t recommend flexischooling and wouldn’t be surprised if the school refused.

Loyaultemelie some LAs will fund EHE for some DC. Some LAs will provide DC with EHCPs a personal budget when DC is EHE. But others will say they are relieved of their duties as the parent is making suitable alternative arrangements.

DD would love homeschooling the trouble is I have a very full on job and often work 9 hrs a day. I only started 3 months ago after being made redundant in first lockdown and only being able to find dribs and drabs of temp work until now.
My employer are a global company but my job is initially a 12 month contract so I need to
Impress for it to be renewed or made permanent.
All this has come at or is a result of very bad timing I'm afraid.
I've been exceptionally busy with my new role. I had a car accident in January that has made existing health issues much worse, then moved house 4 days after the accident which also didn't help.
I'm limited energy wise at the moment and am often exhausted once I finish work, I'm sure that doesn't help DD. I'm mid fifties so no spring chicken!

And what is the difference between ECHP and EHCNA?

Oh I get it now you have to have the assessment first.
But these seem to be focussed on disability. DD isn't disabled

The EHCNA is the needs assessment prior to the LA agreeing, or not, to issue an EHCP.

EHCPs are for DC with SEN. DD has SEMH needs which are a type of SEN.

Also, if DD’s MH difficulties are so significant they prevent her from attending school she may well be classed as having a disability under the Equality Act.

It could be worth consider ASD or other neurodiversities, it sounds like DD may be masking at school.

When you ring school so you say it’s school refusal or illness?

School refusal has to be dealt with and is referred higher and they should make contact the same day to discuss or put something in place.

Be warned though their first option is usually a limited timetable for core subjects.

@BluebellsGreenbells now we've had 2 meetings at school I use the online absence portal on EduLink and give reason for absence as 'pls refer to 'teachers name'

@Imitatingdory I've contacted my local authority but they say they can't see the need for an EHCNA

LAs often incorrectly tell parents their DC doesn’t need or won’t get an EHCP but the parents go on to successfully apply anyway. There’s other parents on the SN boards who were told the same thing. You should apply and appeal if the initially refuse.

The bar for an EHCNA is relatively low - a) has or may have SEN, and b) may need SEN provision to be made via an EHCP. If DD cannot attend school full time due to her MH she meets that threshold.

I think DD is actually depressed. She's cried all morning and said she has no motivation to do anything