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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

i hate the feeling that i will be on my own forever.

17 replies

allgonebellyup · 05/01/2008 20:03

i just do.
Feel v low tonight, the kids are with my ex, he texted me to say my dd is a being a little "bitch" because she is turning into me. Lovely! She is 8 and can be bratty but no child should be called that.

Men used to try it on with me all the time, but when i go out now nobody bothers, i cant escape the feeling that i will be alone forever and never be loved again.i cant see why anyone decent, fanciable and funny would ever look at me and my 2 children. i am 28 so no spring chicken but not hugely old either, though i feel it.

OP posts:
sweetboy · 05/01/2008 20:06

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Original poster
allgonebellyup · 05/01/2008 20:11

thanks but still feel crappy

OP posts:
butterfli · 05/01/2008 20:15

Right then! No more negative feelings!!!!!!
No kids tonight right? ok, so do something to beautify urself ....... do ur nails, go get a shower and shave and scrub etc, then smother urself in body lotion...... paint ur toe nails, and then decide what you are going to do to your hair next.............. summer is only round the corner, and if u want those men falling at your feet again, its time to start preening!!! oh, ps smile too!!!! (wink) xxxx

sweetboy · 05/01/2008 20:18

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Surr3ymummy · 05/01/2008 20:18

It can take a while to get over a failed relationship, get back on your own feet, and rebuild your self confidence but you will do it. I spent about 7 years as a lone parent, I then met DH when I was 35 and had DS at 40, and life is great at the moment . So at 28 you are a still spring chicken!

Try and make good use of the time that your ex has the children - arrange to meet friends, or just do something nice for you. I found it helped to make new friends that were also single, as my other friends were married, and it helped to talk to others in the same situation. All the single friends I made during that time are now married with kids - so just be patient and enjoy the time on your own - it will go fast and you'll soon be back to losing control of the TV remote!

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 05/01/2008 20:20

bless, my friend just called and invited me over to hers this evening, wont feel so lonely now..

thanks for your nice words butterfli, i read your post about your man going awol, i think you deserve better!

OP posts:
TequilaMockinBird · 05/01/2008 20:21

allgonebellyup, I know exactly how you're feeling. I am also 28 and have 1 dd who is 10.

I don't have any advice for you really but just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling like this. I've been feeling like this for a while now and the fact that all of my friends are married makes me feel worse.

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 05/01/2008 20:22

Surr3, actually i do have 3 very close single friends, they do help me feel a lot better as they think they will all be single forever too!!

OP posts:
Surr3ymummy · 05/01/2008 20:57

yes, we all felt like that too! Nice to look back and know we were wrong. I would say look at broadening your social life as much as possible as that will help.. Good luck!

mummyfantastico · 05/01/2008 21:00

And try to enjoy all the good things about being single while you still can! There are lots of good bits, I know cos there have been threads all about it!

1066andallthat · 05/01/2008 21:42

Ah, babe - because you are . I am the other side of 40 and you know what? I have another 40 years or so and I want a lovely partner during them.

At 28, I didn't even have children; in fact, I was just coming to the end of a relationship and was worried sick that I had lost my chance of having a family. You really can't tell what is round the corner, but there is a very good chance that love is still out there. And a better, deeper, more lasting love, at that.

Be honest, would you really change yourself -and not have your children? I bet the answer is no: so, what you are offering is, indeed, better than 10 years ago. A woman, who knows how to love, how to be a mother and how to be strong.

LoneLou · 05/01/2008 21:57

I know exactly how you feel.

I just feel too low to make any effort with myself

wooga · 05/01/2008 21:58

Hi,sorry to jump in, but was my first christmas as a single mum and i found it really hard - even though i was lonely with my exh around.
I worry that i may never meet a nice man as i never go anywhere except school run and stuff with dcs (not many friends ).
I turned 30 last year and it made me look at my life and think about where i am now.
I am trying to be positive-am eating less crap,cut down on the wine(!)and am exercising more-had depression and am building up my confidence after neglecting myself.
I know i am nowhere near ready for a relationship yet so am getting myself and dcs sorted this year then hopefully the rest will follow!

LoneLou · 05/01/2008 22:30

Wooga you sound just like me now my X walked out on me and my son new years day just gone we'd been together 7 years, never married. He left me for another woman whom he's living with even after such a short time of being together.

I've suffered badly from depression which is probably why he left me I was horrible to him.
It's my 30th today and I've seen him today walking around with HER hand in hand, gutted!
I just feel like I'll be on my own forever because of the way I look.

LoneLou · 05/01/2008 22:31

Suppose now I've seen HER and because it's still quite raw I've compared myself to her and she was too pretty for my liking. BITCH

wooga · 05/01/2008 22:47

Oh that's awful
When i'm really low i try to think-ok , things are crap now but next birthday,xmas,etc things will be better-i force myself to be positive.
If that doesn't work i look at my gorgeous dc's when they're sleeping - it makes me remember how lucky i am to have them and how i have to keep going.
Dragged dc's out for long walk today-am trying to get out more-too tempting to hide away.
i saw someone from my past today and i looked like s* made me more determined to sort myself out.
Here's to your next birthday being much better- don't compare yourself with her-unless thinking what a nasty piece of work she is compared to you.

wooga · 05/01/2008 22:53

Just read your other post-really early days yet- it will get better.

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