I split with LO dad back in november and kicked him out after he decided not to contribute towards any bills and spend all his money on drugs. A week later i discovered i was pregnant and i just didnt have the heart to terminate so ive gone ahead with the pregnancy and trying to see the positives of the situation and keep positive about it all but its hard.
I allow LO dad to come and see LO but allways when im there and never alone with LO. I think its important that LO has his dad in his life, his dad interacts with him well and shows intrest in his life.
My family are completley against this, completly hate ex and have made it very ovious they would rather me cut him out completley, they see all negatives about him and no positives like the fact that he does want to be involed in his childs life and does help me where he can and is a good dad when he is arround, dosent harm me or LO in any way. My family are very little support to me and if im honest some weeks ex is the only adult contact i get/comes to see me and LO/helps me at all (will do little chores to help me whilst visiting LO).
I try my best to just not mention ex to family at all and try shut down any questions they ask about him. I dont involve them at all in LO contact with him and it in no way affects how much and when they see LO, they only really see him when I arrange to see them and take him to see them, i cant remember the last time one of my family members came round to see me and LO, i invite them all round regulary for dinner/cup of tea/ play dates with cousins, all get declined unless its me coming to them.
My sisters recently made a big fuss, her partner has said to their 4 year old that he does not like my son and the 4 year old repeated this to me on several occaisons and my sister has just brushed it off like its not a problem that he says this and the reason he says this is because he does not like my sons dad, my son has done nothing wrong and it gets me very upset when her daughter repetively says it, luckly LO is young enough that he dosent understand but it wount be long. I had enough of the comment and said i no longer want my son arround them if comments like that are going to be thrown arround and then be brushed off like hes saying he doesnt like marmite. My sister then made a big deal of her daughter asking where my sons dad is, saying she needs an explination to tell her and calling a big family meeting about it. Its just unneccasay in my eyes, just tell her LO dad is not with his mummy and he comes to play and see him sometimes, no thurther explanation is needed, we had a handfull of friends growing up that didnt have a dad in their life and we never questioned it or needed an explination. My sister also in the past has made a comment saying she would rather my past physicaly and emotionaly abusive ex would be the father of my babies than their actual father, which really upset me as it took me alot to get out of that relationship and report it and go through the trama of court to get a restraining order.
I just feel like ive failed as a mum for not having the perfect baby daddy and family situation. Im trying my best, trying to work part time as well as beeing a single mum with little family support, im at breaking point and feel like i have nobody to turn to and feel like everyone and everything is against me in life. Im getting so down this week the only time ive left the house is to go to work and get food shopping, i feel like ive let my son down not doing anything with him just sat on the sofa feeling like cr@p.