Newly single mum

[Godmumma]

Hi. My partner has just left me so I'm now a single mum to my little boy who's nearly 2. It's a shock to the system but I know I'm better off without him. Any advice on how to manage? I'm heartbroken which is obvious but worried about my finances, routine, child care when at work. Just how will I cope by myself. Any advice would be appreciated 🙏

I'm so sorry lovely. You must be devastated!

Going from my own personal experience, I'd focus on the practical things for now as they're more pressing. It's absolutely normal to be scared of the financial side of things and childcare, so firstly be assured that there is help available to you if you're on a low income. It benefits the government for you to stay in work and so you'll get plenty of help with childcare. I'd start by putting in your circumstances on entitledto.org so you can see what government support is available. You should also discuss maintenance with your ex. There's a calculator available on the CMS website if you're not sure what you can get. If you think he won't pay, contact them asap, along with the benefits you're entitled to, since these can sometimes take a while to come through but are backdated from the day you claim, so the earlier the better.

If you're worried about the legal side of things, rightsofwomen and Womens aid have some great legal advice. You may also find that your local university does free clinics with their legal students (supervised so that you get the right advice)

You will cope alone. It's a scary thought, I know, but you can do it! You're not the first and sadly won't be the last. It feels like the end of the world now, but some day soon you'll be happy again

Hello - I know it's definitely not easy, but you will somehow find the time and energy within you. And in some ways - if the relationship was draining you and stressing you out - you will have more to give to your baby. You'll find a routine that works for you, help when you need it (govt or otherwise) and it'll all be fine. I'm sure of it. This is someone who was terrified of being a single mum as a marriage broke down, and then found out they were pregnant. So soon to be a single mum of 2!

kitkatsky gave the best advice. I'd just like to say you're not alone. It's been 5 weeks for me and DS is almost 3. It's hard but it's better than the alternative.
Only thing I would add is do not be too hard on yourself. I tried my best to keep to sons same routine but found myself messing up in some way, I thought the whole day was a failure. I'm starting to get back into the flow of things and that's helping me feel better. Best of luck to you and your little one.

You can do this! Take it one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. I used to go to bed when the dc went to bed, it was the only way I felt less lonely in the early days.

Like a PP said make sure you're claiming everything you're entitled to.

On a practical note keep long life milk in the cupboard, then you don't need to worry about having that last cup of tea and not having enough milk for the morning. (Just don't forget to replace the long life milk)

Shower in the evening, and batch cooking! And signing up to some toddler groups x