CAO enforcement...update and hand hold!

[Geellcee]

Hi there,
I last posted in November re enforcement action from ex - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/4390901-Ex-taking-me-back-to-court-for-enforcement?msgid=112194004#112194004

I had some very helpful advice and kind words in response. Cafcass said they didn't need to be further involved, child stayed with dad on and off since I last posted, still had all regular daytime contact as per order, dad still returning child in the evenings.

School involved, they have recommended no overnights at the moment based on advice from external agency.

Have been to FHDRA. Exes legal rep gunning for enforcement to be addressed and say that I have not encouraged child to stay overnight, despite reams of texts/ emails to the contrary. Cafcass have now decided on section 7 and child now has the choice to stay or not stay between now and the next hearing later this year. Ex not involved with school until shortly before FHDRA. School seem to think ex wonderful.

I feel like I'm drowning in all of this. I'm sorry if my post isn't clear: worried about being identified but also desperate for help and advice as to how to handle this. I have solicitor but unable to work out how I can cope with the injustice of all of this, I feel like nobody will ever help me to somehow clear my name etc. Argh! I just want to have a peaceful life and be able to bring happy children up!

Thank you for reading/ listening.

Hi OP

I think you are feeling aggrieved because your ex won't stop blaming you for his difficulties with contact, is that right?

The bad news is there is no level of vindication of you that will stop him doing this, as who else has he got to blame? Not himself, that's for sure.

The good news is that his attitude is just not going to help himself. The fact is that your son is going for contact. Just not in the format that your ex wants. So you aren't frustrating contact.

It will never feel fair to you, because it isn't. I had years of crap from my son's dad, in the end it was just comical, but in the early years it was so upsetting and engaging. And I'm a family solicitor, you'd think I'd have been able to shrug it off!

The fact that the court has ordered s7 shows the court really isn't interested in his enforcement stuff, so try not to worry, and just keep on supporting your kid to see dad as much as they can manage.

@MrsBertBibby - Hi, thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate you taking the time to be so kind and for sharing your thoughts.

I've lurked here and on Legal and seen loads of posts where you have offered advice and help, and have so many screenshots of your advice from situations that felt a bit like mine, and I am really grateful for those too.

I feel a bit brighter after your response, not just from your personal experience but also your experiences through your work, and the way you framed it so succinctly has struck a chord in my outlook.

Wishing you and your son all the best.

Do you know the reasons why your son won't stay overnight?

I have no advice to offer but sounds like you've appreciated the support of someone else and I'm really glad that's helped you. Must be so hard but stay strong. Sounds like you're keeping your children's needs front and centre