Just feel so annoyed

[RedCandyApple]

This is probably ridiculous and I will probably be told so but I’m just so pissed off at unfair life is! I am a single parent to 4 children, my ex doesn’t see them at all that is his choice. My children have a range of SEN (autism adhd..) I never get a break from them as I don’t have any family help, ex doesn’t see them and doesn’t pay for them either, he literally may as well be dead. There is just nothing there, his family is not involved, nothing.

I have been on my own for almost 5 years now as I am unable to meet anyone and have any life for myself as I am with my children every day. I have no social life as I can’t meet up with anyone due to my children (can’t take my oldest anywhere due to her behaviour) so I am at home 24/7.

I just feel so resentful that my ex can abandon his children. Act as if they don’t exist and start and new life maybe even have more kids and get married whereas I will now be alone forever and can’t even meet anyone and my life is pretty much over. Sorry just needed a rant.

Life is unfair and your situation sounds really difficult.

Can you look at support groups for parents in your situation (you are definitely not alone!)? I've learned the long and hard way that you can't make a parent be a good parent if they don't want to be. An absent one is often better than a shit, flakey one. Building up your support network will help a lot. It won't be like this forever but there are definitely periods when it feels like a never ending treadmill with no change on the horizon. Your children are lucky to have you and they will appreciate what you do for them if if they don't/can't show it

I feel for you. It is completely unfair and there should be a legal requirement for any parent who abandons their children to pay for a respite day every two weeks, for the resident parent.

I only have one but have had very little social life for 10 years, so I understand a little of how it is.

I haven’t gone to a support group I’m very shy and an introvert and I don’t do well in groups of people I don’t know, I don’t really have the confidence to speak to people I don’t know.

I have a few friends but they all meet up without me as they have much older children and I am unable to go to places they go (out to fancy restaurants etc)

Do you get some respite when the children are in school. I know you must be exhausted but could you volunteer for a few hours a week. To mix with different people and something that is your time? Or a short course at college. Adult company is important.

They will get old and hopefully more independent. My son has asd and adhd but is 16 now and is happy home alone for a few hours here and there

It's frustrating when the absent parent is living their best life. But the children will know who did all the hard work and supported them.

No sadly my daughter will need full time care she will never be independent she requires constant care and from September will be home educated.

I don’t think my daughter will ever be independent or live alone. She’s 10 and has full time 1:1 all day at school she has no danger awareness and can’t be left alone at all.

I hope that your daughter gets the help she needs and you have some support around you.

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and assessments via the disabled children’s team for DC.

Don’t EHE unless it is an active choice to do so. Force the LA to provide education, if you don’t think there is a suitable school look at EOTAS.

I’m home educating because I have been told she is fine to attend a mainstream secondary, she isn’t and I will not be sending her.

You can appeal.