I have two DCs (10 and 7). Ex had an affair and left 4 years ago, lives with OW and since had a baby together.
My eldest has SEN and can be very challenging ( physically attacking me at times). He cannot manage after school childcare so I have had to drop my hours at work to work around him. Spend all of my spare time fighting for support for him at school, applying for an EHcP, endless forms and meetings etc. He has a very bad relationship with step mum so for last year refused to stay overnight. Won’t have a babysitter due to anxiety.
My ability to build a new life for myself is therefore massively restrained. I’m so tired and drained dealing with it all plus work ( and trying to get ex to divorce). Also have had to give up my career ambitions - and I was good at my job, viewed as less reliable at work as often late as can’t get him into school on time. I honestly feel pretty broken and trapped by it. I love him very much but it is hard. Hard on my youngest too.
He has recently stayed at his dads without his brother due to me having covid and his fear of this. Now all I am getting constantly is how much better it is with his dad, how he wants to live there, how rubbish I am etc etc. Reality is to live with his dad would have to be in after school clubs till late every night ( if even possible) and before school clubs. Would actually have to move schools. Obviously he is a child and doesn’t understand this.
I’ve never stopped him seeing his dad or staying there - infact have encouraged it and allowed my ex to come to my house a lot to see them when DS couldn’t handle going there. Ultimately if he did want to live with his dad I wouldn’t stop him.
The logical part of me knows he’s just a child. But just wanted to vent somewhere because despite knowing that it still bloody hurts when he says these things, and sometimes it is very hard not to react. I know my kids don’t owe me anything but he can’t just be so cruel in the things he says.