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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Joint debts

19 replies

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 14:51

When ex husband and father to 14 yr old dd left 2 years ago, I had to stay on in the rented property and have been able luckily to secure full time work.

I had always worked, but due to living expenses and that my dds father left work before he left his dd about a year ago and he was on the council tax , water and gas...

He left and because I had no way of getting hold of him have had to pay arrears that are in both our names.

As a single mum I have started off on debt that was only half mine... also he left without details of new address and abandoned his 14 yr old dd who calls him by name but not as dad...

Honestly I'm still paying joint house debt on a rental house that me and dd are still living in.. how can he move out and not pay toward the bills when he lived here?

I'm still working and paying towards the council tax and gas...its extremely unfair

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itwasntaparty · 03/02/2022 14:52

Yes it is. Have you been through CMS?

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 03/02/2022 14:55

When I threw exh out I wrote to all utility companies and accepted 50%of the debt and suggested they chased him for the rest... And I did. And assume they did!

Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 14:57

I have but he told me before he left that he met someone on a website they live abroad.

He left the country..it was planned in my opinion, wether he did actually leave or not.. cms did contact him after I had asked and we both agreed but later he left the country and they contacted me to tell me that they had been informed and they closed the case down.

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AlDanvers · 03/02/2022 14:58

You need to try and track him down and divorce him. Is the 14 year old the only child?

Usually the utility companies would chase him and track him down for his half of the debt. Did you speak to them?

How long were you together and how long married?

Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 14:59

I had 2 months cms payment when dd was 12, have had nothing since and she is now 14..

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Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 15:00

Single parents, one can leave and the remaining parent is responsible for all household debts?

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Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 15:05

So angry as he left work but I was still working..I worked nights full time and he worked days full time.

Because we had a private rent it was not cheap, when he left work and left to live with his parents I was left with a full private rental plus bills.. he then moved away..

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Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 15:10

15 yrs married, he has a 14 yr old that he has not contacted since he left...
I have tried chasing him but have had no joy since he moved to Germany as he told me ..

I have no details to give as he didn't want to give them to the mother of his child or his at the time 12 yr old daughter...

Its possible to escape any payments...

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Snugglepumpkin · 03/02/2022 15:11

Companies SHOULD be chasing the other person on a joint debt as well, but in my experience they don't bother once they've got a payment from one of you because they don't care who pays, just that someone does & you are a sure thing.

It costs them money to chase someone else so they don't bother.

AlDanvers · 03/02/2022 15:13

You can't escape payments. You can tell the utilities company he has disappeared and discuss taking on only your half of the debt.

The rental arrears is more difficult.

Also if the debts were accrued in the 2 years since he left they are you debts.

When was the tenancy renewed and when is it renewing next? Can you move a to smaller, cheaper place house?

Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 15:29

Easter bunny. Wish I had done this..when he moved out he insisted that I transfer all the utilities to my name, as he said that was fair and he would pay towards the rent that was in both our names as a joint tenancy.

He didn't of course. And I had to stop night work as I had a child when he left and would not help while I was working.

However with universal credits they don't accept it that I was paying full rent because husband had his name on the tenancy..

Had to rely on food banks for us both until I worked out and sent to them that ex husband is not paying towards the rent.

One month they cut money as I had to claim universal credits for the first time at age 39. Had always worked but I had worked full time night shifts which was no longer possible when husband left until I found a day position.

There was alot of mental abuse , when I had to claim at the jobcentre for benefits after ex left, my advisor seemed to pick up that this was an abusive relationships and was quite supportive but I'm still struggling..

Financially if I take on all utilities In my name I have to pay even if ex had accrued them with me?.. just wondering legally but then there is no way for the council or gas company to find him....

As a single parent I'm still paying toward these debts that were built between us but if one person leaves without trace and the person left paying is a single mum, I've still not fully repayed after 2 years. I work full time and have a 14 yr old dd.....

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Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 15:35

Can't move to a cheaper rental as there are no cheaper rentals and rent prices have shot up tenfold..

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Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 03/02/2022 16:03

Send copies of joint council tax bill for the years he was there. Tell them you will /have paid half of the amounts. They will be able to find him.

Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 16:16

He has moved abroad now and he has had no contact with me or his 14 yr old dd.....

First of all when he moved out we shared a joint rented house.. well he told me he will not cover his half of joint rent unless I sign all utilities to my name...

I did this.. however he left and after I had to leave night work and loom for day work, he left me with an untidy tenancy.

This means he was liable for half the rent, but as the remaining tenant (with child) both or either tenant is responsible.

Since he vanished without a trace I was fully responsible for the rent unless I could prove otherwise but even though I was a full time worker I had to seek day work instantly which was hard.

I eventually got through to the universal credits that he was NOT paying half of the rent even though his name was on the tenancy and got his name removed, which is hard if he refused to have contact.

I then got help before I found work to fit I'm with childcare, at this time I have no maintenance x

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Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 16:23

They can't find him if he has moved away.. think this was half his reasoning. He was happy to leave all his friends and family for a new life. Everyone else is left dealing with the aftermath..

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AlDanvers · 03/02/2022 16:52

The tenancy must have been renewed in this time, whose name is it in?

Also, if they agree that half the debt is his and they can't find him, that's their issue.

unicornsarereal72 · 03/02/2022 17:52

I'm so sorry you are in this position. You are joint liable for those bills. I know it isn't fair he should of paid his share. But he hasn't and I know it is impossible to track him down

You can contact the debts and say you are only prepared to pay half. But it has been 2 years now so not likely to do anything in retrospect

You need to let this go for your own well being. It isn't going to change. He isn't going to suddenly step up. I was left with the best part of £30k debt to clear. I've six months left. Some of it was mine. Some of it was ex credit card car repairs bill. Etc. He wasn't going to step up. He didn't care. It was my address and me who would be sent the bailiff etc

Have you spoken to an organisation like step change or CAP. They might be able to help.

You are setting your daughter an excellent example of being strong and independent. She will know who stepped up when the chips were down.

Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 18:10

Thank you unicorn,

Yes step change were great, they were supportive as well so giving the up date advice, they knew their stuff and are a real life for people!

Its a slow process but I guess its valid advice to say beware who you split finances with and always consider your own options.

This is very valid concern to anyone. ....

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Original poster

creaturcomforts · 03/02/2022 18:42

Thank you unicornsarereal,

You have found way to work around things and have dealt with it.

My dd as well is the most important person and I'm not going to loose sight of this

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