Ex called our son an asshole

[Pinkpepper79]

Long and short is we broke up in October last year things were amicable ish but just after Christmas things broke down I got Covid and he said he didn't give a shit if I died. Our son is in 6th form and rarely attends school. I have been struggling to get through to DS and get him to attend. When speaking to the school I asked if they could also contact his father and let him know when he doesn't attend. They did that this week. Anyway it resulted in my Ex ringing his son and calling him an asshole and to get his f'ing arse to school. DS has been saying to me that he doesn't want to live but wont participate in getting any form of support. His dad has said that its my fault and that there is nothing wrong. Just to add we were never married but in a relationship but not living together (yes i know how weird it is, I have been told this on several occasions) am I wrong to be angry with the way my ex has spoken to our son?

Not wrong at all. That is an appalling way to speak to him and hardly likely to help his state of mind.
I’d be telling the school NOT to phone him in future to protect DS from the abuse.
If DS is saying he doesn’t want to live it would be worth phoning school and speaking to pastoral care to make them aware. They will have experience in this and may be able to get him to change his mind about support.

Young minds will be able to offer you lots of advice.
www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/

It would also be worth speaking to the GP, there can be underlying causes to depression (deficiencies in vitamin D, B12/folate, thyroid issues etc) but, ultimately, you can’t force DS to have help. It’s very frustrating. My DS was referred to CAMHS but wouldn’t engage with them at all. I hope your DS will accept help soon.