My boyfriend has now left us for good today Boxing Day. He moved out a couple of weeks ago but has stayed over several times since then for a few days at a time. It goes pear-shaped after about 2 days then he goes back to his house.
Last time I phoned him, he was curled up drunk in his sleeping bag (his house has no heating)playing computer games (he's 41...not 15).
This seems to be a split for real now, so I what I need to know is how do we work out when he sees our 8 month old baby? Am I supposed to let him take her away for the day or even overnight? I can't even be away from her for 1 second so I can't possibly comprehend letting him have her for the whole day!
Because our's has been an abusive relationship (he has never harmed baby, just me)I am scared he would use emotional manipulation against me, like keeping her all day if we agreed just meant to keep her for a few hours. I don't feel strong enough to let her spend time away from me yet and I don't want to go down the courts/custody route. He refuses to discuss access issues, but I can't just accept him turning up whenever can I? Is that how it works?
How much time is fair to allow him? Does letting him spend a few hours at my house with her whilst I go out for a few hours sound fair? I'm ok leaving her as long as I know she's at home, yet I wouldnt feel happy if she was him outside of my home strangely.