I wish I hadn't had children

[0828GCL]

I have recently gone through a breakup with DCs dad and honestly, they just feel like such a burden now.
I know some would cut off a limb for children - I know because I was one of yhos people too, struggled to conceive and wanted to be a mum more than anything.
But my god I'm so sick of the incessant questions, mess, needs, screaming, tantrums. Having to constantly be putting others first, when I just want to focus on myself and moving on.
I feel awful but I'm finding the time with my kids tedious, boring, exhausting, repetitive, dull. And I look forward to my days without them SO much! They just feel like a complete block to me living my life the way I want.
I have spoken to a couple of friends who think I might be depressed, but I don't feel at all down, it's more I feel irritated and begrudged.
I don't let it show and get out with them all the time and do all the "right" things. But my god, I really really wish I hadn't had them now.
Has anyone any advice or in a similar position? Is there something wrong with me?!

OP I definitely understand how you can be having a really tough time parenting, whilst at the same time not wanting to see your kids less. I often feel the same. I think it's the "all or nothing-ness" of the situation. Either you are parenting them alone and it's knackering and you don't get a break in that time, or they're at their dads and the house is empty and you miss them. The switch from 0-100 is really disconcerting. I do understand, and sympathise

I understand this too, my kids stay one night a week with dad and two nights the next.

Its exhausting because you're trying your best and adjusting to a new routine. You'll find it gets easier as you all get used to it.

I also understand not wanting them to go more to their other parent. My ex has no rules, junk food, screen time unlimited, inappropriate games amd films and never takes them out anywhere. They missed extra curricular classes, homework, late consistently for school on the one morning he was responsible for. No haircuts, nail cutting, dentist doctors etc. I'm not willing to do all the parenting on less time and they deserve better. Yes he loves them and no direct harm but he's just a bit shit.

I get you. Im exhausted working and parenting and I spend my child free time cleaning or shopping or running errands. It's not a life I'd have chosen for myself or them, but its not forever.