I have some issues with my ex Husbands behaviour, we have been separated for 3 years and officially divorced for 18 months. The split was pretty nasty, he had an affair and moved straight in with his new woman. He then decided to not communicate with my son for 4 and a half months. Only getting into contact again when divorce proceedings started and we had to go to mediation. Slowly they rebuilt and things were going well until his relationship with the other woman started to fail and money discussion re divorce started. He started to disclose all financial info to my son and would regularly say things like mummy has more money than me so she needs to give me more. And mummy gets £xxx from me a month so she can afford to buy you nice things. My son would suck it all up and come home and ask me to give him money etc etc. When hsi relationship was failing he hit the bottle and was drinking daily while sleeping on a futon bed in the house they shared. My son and him would have to share a bed when he stayed there every other weekend and he would tell me he was living like a trap and drinking lots. His partner would not allow them to sit in the lounge or watch the TV as she owned them so they were confined to a room, where they would eat the food and stay all day. As he doesn't drive he would ride his motorbike to the town I live in, lock it up and then get a bus back home, then would jump on the bus with my son and bring him home, pick the bike up and drive back. He lived 1 mile from the bus stop which he reckoned he could walk in 5 mins (Ussain Bolt) and the bus ride was 15 mins, then he would walk back home. All the time leaving my son on his own, I believe he left him for more than an hour each time. When I found out I put a stop to it, his response was that he was fine and nothing could happen to him......until one day he left him on his own to go food shopping and my son was calling him as he seemed to be taking a long time. He was not answering and my son panicked and called me crying that he thought his dad had been beaten up or had a bike accident. From then on my son has had nightmares, can't be left, all doors need locking and checking and noises outside freak him out. Anyway fast forward to last xmas, my ex moved to the town I live in to be closer to his son and sort some issues with not having a car. All was ok, he moved in a week before Xmas. He would not allow me to have him at Xmas as I had him the year before (he made no effort to have hime even when offered). I saw him for an hour xmas morning at his house and gave him his presents and then I travelled in the covid 1 day allowed to see family scenario to see my parents (who lost their son and daughter earlier in the year). Agreement was that this Xmas would be mine so my son and I went skiing which we have done at xmas every year for the last 6 years (prior to covid). I told my ex our plans and he kicked off big time, screaming and shouting at me. When my son was due to visit tha weekend my ex decided to get blind drunk and I had texts from 4pm from my son saying he's drinking.....then it turned to video calls of my son crying saying he was scared and needed rescuing. My partner and I were out and had already had a couple of drinks so couldn't drive to pick him up, by this time it was nearly 9pm and he was telling us he had drank a full bottle of Captain Morgans Rum (he knew this from when he was drinking at his ex partners house as described the bottle as the one with the pirate on it). I asked him if he was pouring the drink into a glass with anything and he said he was not mixing it. He said he had had beer too but the bottle of Rum was full when he came home from school and was now empty. My son locked himself in the bathroom for 2 hours and we kept him on the phone. He can be a violent man so we didn't want to turn up and get hurt or for my son to get hurt in a scuffle. We also didn't want to involve the police which is something I now regret. We managed to get my son to go to bed without issue and told him his dad wouldn't bother him if he was asleep (I don't think he would ever hurt his son). We picked him up the next morning, he was hanging, he threw his son onto the street with his bags, wouldn't even allow him to get his shoes on. They have not spoken since mid October, he has tried to message my son, no apology, no promise of it will never happen again.........nothing !!!! He's been having nightmares that he will hurt us, turn up at the house etc. He doesn't want anything to do with him, he is scared of people drinking and worries 1 glass of wine might turn me into a nutter.....I have almost gone T Total because of this, I have to have a glass with a meal in a pub etc but nothing in the house. I have tried to get them to reconcile, my ex doesn't understand that hes the adult and he has to speak with our son and apologies, promise that it was a mistake and unacceptable etc. But he wont do it. I have text him, called him and popped to see him to see how I can help get them back on talking terms but he just blames me for everything. Apparently I am the reason he got drunk and acted the way he did and therefore my fault my son is scared of him. He text me tonight after I popped there one last time to try and his view is when his son wants to speak with him he is there but he wont make any effort until then as he thinks I am trying to turn him against him. Its just not true and to be honest other than the nightmares and worries about alcohol my son is doing so much better, his behaviour has improved, his school work has improved and he's generally a nicer boy all round. We have an amazing bond, I just feel terrible he will miss out on a dad in his life.