* TRIGGER WARNING *
I am sooo heartbroken.
I have just found out that my daughter who's 22 was sexually abused when she was 9.
A bit of background here. I fled my home on 2009 due to domestic violence while heavily pregnant with my 4th child. I took my 3 young children with me and went to my mother's home. My daughters were 9 & 10 and my son was 6. I had my baby, a third daughter on my own. I soon became depressed due to my living conditions and being alone with four young children. My mother was no help at all.
Two weeks later, my sister in law's uncle came to my mum's to carry out renovation work. I never once thought he could be so evil and sinister. He belonged to a very religious family back home. He found my daughter alone with her baby sister and decided it was OK to put his filthy hands inside her knickers and on her private parts. I had gone downstairs to collect my baby's clean clothes from the utility area. My other children were there. I since found out that he had also touched my eldest daughter on the bottom, he put his hands into her knickers and touched her. She told me later and I saw red. I wanted to kill him and I really regret not doing so. She also told my mum but she didn't believe my daughter! By then he had flown back home.
I am soooo upset with myself. I've spent my entire life hoping that my kids would never go through what I did, I was also sexually abused by my parent's lodger when I was just 5 (myself and my older brother) but he's never talked about it to me. I think he wants to erase that bad memory completely from his mind.
But it happened to me and now with my two daughters. I feel like such a failure and a bad mum that I couldn't protect them. I'm sooo scared that if my children's father finds out, he'll blame me because I left him. He'll say that it's my fault it happened and it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't left him.
I want to hunt down this evil bastard and castrate him. He's married now with daughters of his own. I have a very bad feeling that he's molested his great nieces back home. How can I get justice? My daughters don't want me to say anything and would rather just leave everything to God.
Thank you for reading.