This isn’t just for the kids is it?

[RedCandyApple]

I posted in relationships a few days ago because my ex always texts me around my birthday/ Xmas/ New Years, even though we have no contact and he doesn’t see our children?! I was told why do I care that he texts and I must have feelings to post about it 🙄 I don’t have feelings for him but it’s getting to me as I think he’s trying to get at me? Wind me up? Is it a control thing? He text me on Xmas saying merry Xmas to you and the kids I love you lots, I was told that was meant for the kids? Ok fair enough, but he’s just text me again now happy New Years to you and the family I love you lots, now I’m sorry but that’s just not about the children is it? Why word it like that?

How can it be about the kids if he doesn't bother to see them?

More importantly why doesn't he see them?

I was told on my last thread he was referring to the kids despite one message saying “merry Xmas to you and the kids, I love you lots” now another “happy new year to you and the family, I love you lots” 😐 but apparently it’s just aimed at the kids and it must be me with feelings to question why he’s sending that 🤦🏻 He hasn’t seen them for almost a year he just stopped bothering, kept making up excuses

He is probably trying to justify his behaviour- i stsyed in touch.

Do you respond ? I would ignore..

I'd ignore it. Sounds like he is still trying to control you. My ex has always done that. I never see him and he never bothers with the kids ( who are adults now ). Just this week I sent him a caring message saying sorry that his sister had died . He immediately answered thanks, I love you. Just ignore it , op.

Sounds like a waste of headspace - ignore him. Doesn't matter who he means it for if you don't want anything to do with him

It his way of justifying himself. He can say I kept in touch. I told the kids I loved them. Ex always finishes any call we have with either ok see you later. Or speak later. He doesn't me either. It is just how he ends a call. He also starts each call with how are you he actually isn't interested he just doesn't know how to speak to me and separate out the 'caring' bit.

How old are the kids. Can he communicate directly with them.

Or just block him and use e mail?

Thank you, I’ve thought about blocking him but he’s shown up at my house in the past when I did this so I think if I have him unblocked at least he might give me some warning?! This is really out of character for him hence me questioning it, I wasn’t even sure if it was him last night as we’ve been broken up a long time now, I don’t usually respond and haven’t in months but Annoyingly last night I did. I agree it’s his way of saying at least I didn’t totally disappear, kids are too young for their own phones imo (under 10) so don’t want to get them any just yet, I think I’m going to block him now though as it’s really creeping me out

If it's out of character to text you that he was probably just doing it on auto pilot. Maybe he'd just been texting a girlfriend previously, maybe had a couple of drinks. I sometimes put kisses at the end of messages to exp out of habit then cringe afterwards

Bet he isn't getting any sex atm. Hopes if he butters you up you will fall for his charms..
Grim. Send him a message saying he needs to make any contact about the dc through your solicitor and then block him.

No texting isn’t out of character he texts every now and again even though he doesn’t bother to see or speak to our children, he texted me on my birthday happy birthday 🤦🏻 It’s the love you lots that’s out of character, twice now in a week, I shouldn’t have responded yesterday but I had had a drink, I just asked him why he kept messaging me that, apparently because he means it, not going to engage again.

It's him convincing himself he's a decent man. I still text my ex and kids to wish them merry xmas aren't I lovely.

It's fuck all to do with ANY of you, it's all about him making him feel better