Any one else feel like this?

[Thingscanonlygetbetterfucovid]

As a single parent do you ever just feel sad you don't have someone to share things with? For example it's Xmas eve, fridge is stocked, presents all out kids in bed etc. But there is no one to give a high 5 too and share the excitement or worries with. I have lots of family and friends around but it's not the same as having a 'partner' to really share this with. I know this is the same many times throughout the year but Christmas really seems to heighten these emotions for me. Anyone else?

Yes, it’s lonely. It’s always lonely but Christmas seems to magnify it, especially all the effort that goes into presents and yet there’s never a surprise for me.

Yes I really do. Xmas really magnifies it too.

Xpost with @Datsandcogs

Occasionally yeah. But then I usually remind myself of all the things I put up with before that I don’t have to put up with now.

First Xmas without STBX in 32 years. Adult DC so they have their own plans tonight and Covid has also changed things . And I am just so sad.
So well done to you Mums that despite your own loneliness , put your DCs happiness first to create a special day for them.

Yes.

No friends (all married) or family members (again all married) to invite over and spend a Christmas Eve/Day with - that’s what makes it awful for me.

Yes absolutely. Youngest ones first Christmas, an older son too and we all have covid! I had made so many plans for big family Christmas events too. Trying my best to keep some magic even though I just want to crawl into bed. We got this. Xx

Yes definitely. However think of it as an achievement, you've done it all yourself.
My friend has a meltdown most years yet has a supportive DH to help her. You've done well and I'm sure your kids will know that too.
You never know what the future holds, your perfect partner could be just around the corner.

All the time.

Unfortunately, my ex always made sure I was lonely either way, so I try to remind myself that it's far better to be a bit lonely alone.

Yes. I lost my partner and my mum in the last 18 months. It is shockingly hard this year.

Been a lone parent these past four years and this is the first christmas I am really feeling it. I think the pandemic has just made it worse, I don’t even need a partner I’m just so tired of it just being me. Any other adults would be good.

Yes - friend cancelled plans on me earlier for this evening so I've been on my own since Wednesday and DC not back until some point tomorrow afternoon.

Have kitties and Baileys but it's not the same, is it? This will be my 9th one on my own and it's better than the first few but still, would like some congrats at finding the last two, sought after presents this arvo when all hope had been lost.. my DC are still quite young at least although neither still believe so it's different to how it used to be anyway!

Merry Xmas you lovely lot - hoping tomorrow brings some peace and joy xx

I had a haircut last Wednesday, I haven’t seen anyone since to notice it’s changed (being careful due to C19!)

Yes, feel this so much.

However, often less so at Christmas than other times, funnily. Christmas with my H was really awful & far lonelier. I recall particularly the Christmas he took to one of the DC's beds & slept for hours. I had to eat Christmas dinner on my own with a 6 mo old, 2 yo & 4 yo. That was excruciating. I remember calling my family all of whom were together in my parent's house (different city). They were all laughing & having a great time & I was desperately trying to hold it together. They had no clue.

But yes, the run up to Christmas is so hard, doing everything & worrying about money. Then there's no one to share the happy bit with on the day.

Hope all of you have a lovely day tomorrow nonetheless. 🎄

Yes. I'm a widow (my husband died suddenly when my kids were 4 and 6). When not visiting my family abroad (no chance this and last year), it can feel a bit lonely. We have fun with the presents and dinner and games, but then the kids (teens now) wander off and I'm left with a glass of wine and I want to turn to someone and say 'what a wonderful day that was' and talk about the year and our plans for the next.

I've been seperated from my children's dad for nearly 11 years. I do feel proud of myself but I just feel sad there is no one to share that with. I'm sorry for everyone that is going through a tough time, I know my problem is completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things right now.

Yes, Christmas really magnifies how alone you are in this parenting park. Presents are out, food in the fridge, and my adult DC are here this year which has thrilled my younger DC no end. But now everyone is in bed and I'm doing the last bit of tidying and making it all nice for morning, and it makes me sad. 2 x exh were nightmares. So I don't miss what I had. I more miss what I should have had, and by extension what my kids should have had. I can high 5 myself for having pulled Christmas out of the hat yet again after a shit year that started with us all having covid and has had quite a few health scares and personally trying times. I can say fuck your exh I worked hard to give the kids all this, all on my own. Without a penny of input I might add. I don't really want to be in a relationship again, but damn there'll be a few tears tonight.

Yes definitely, I’ve been on my own for 5 years now so not a recent break up and whilst I love Xmas I do feel sad being on my own with the kids every year, no adult to chat you, and all the pressure of doing it all alone

Yes. Hate it. Sneaking around last night was a nightmare no one to distract the kids so you can do the Santa thing. This morning. Building presents. Breakfast preparing the dinner. Etc. Needs two of you.

But I'm grateful the kids are here and I'm trying to enjoy the day.

Once dinner is done I can relax and have got loads of simple snack foods to make tea time and tomorrow really easy.

I feel the “it needs two” comments, cooking the dinner and having the kids constantly in moaning for things asking me to open things etc need someone else here occupying them so I can cook and clean

Massively. I have my mother here this week and it makes me feel even worse because she's a bitter old woman who can't be happy for anyone so it's 2 pronged - I don't want to be alone and I don't want to end up like her

Thank you making me see its ok to feel this way. I hope everyone had a lovely day yesterday., you should all be proud of yourselves for managing to do what normally takes 2 people!! I think its really important this time of year to remember we are only able to do as much we can...annals take some time for yourself. If there is no one to spoil you owe it yourself to spoil you. Merry Christmas everyone.

feeling this and well done to us all - it's bloody hard work! I tried to explain to my friend that it was tough doing Christmas as a single.....her response was 'well DH hasn't bought any of the presents for the kids, I've done it all' ...... thanks for the support bestie, it's not quite the same though is it?? FFS!

@scurryfunger

feeling this and well done to us all - it's bloody hard work! I tried to explain to my friend that it was tough doing Christmas as a single.....her response was 'well DH hasn't bought any of the presents for the kids, I've done it all' ...... thanks for the support bestie, it's not quite the same though is it?? FFS!

Yes.

This. Drives. Me. Mad.

I know that many (not all) resident fathers do feck all for Christmas & the mother is run ragged.

But it's still not the same. When you are actually on your own, with no emotional support, no practical help (eg you can run to the shops while other parent stays with kids or helps you lift / build a heavy present) and no one to share the planning with - that's the hard part. And it's not the same as having a useless H, as frustrating as that also is.