Feeling trapped

[RedCandyApple]

I can’t live like this anymore, I don’t know what else to do I’m posting here out Of desperation, my daughter is 10 and has autism her behaviour is out of control, I can’t manage it anymore. I am a prisoner in my own home, I can’t go out as I can’t take her anywhere without her kicking off, it’s over everything and anything, she is violent and aggressive. I feel trapped in my house and spend all the holidays trapped in as I can’t leave the house with her because of her behaviour, today I needed to go to the post office so I attempted to take her out, we live opposite a library and she hates it, there is no way to avoid it it is directly opposite my house, so because of it she’s kicked off massively, starts throwing herself on the floor and screaming, when I eventually got her up she tried to run off and run into the road, she was trying to run up to strangers screaming at them to help her, I eventually got her but she carried on kicking off, started attacking me and her siblings, screaming the place down, trying to push my younger child’s pram into the road. I was forced to go home, I spent over an hour getting us all ready just to come home again. I’m now sat here in tears, I can’t live like this anymore, everyone tells me oh just order online and never go out again but how is that fair on my other kids who have to spend the whole holidays at home, I’m spending an absolute fortune ordering online for every little thing, their school has broken up earlier than it was suppose to so I haven’t finished my Xmas shopping as they weren’t suppose to finish until Tuesday but closed early, I needed my money from the post office now I can’t get it, I’m a single parent there is no one else, their father has no contact through choice and family are less than useless, I called my mum is tears breaking down and all I got was “I told you so” I ended up hanging up the phone.

No wise words I am afraid, just a hand hold. Your situation sounds so hard. I have 4 kids and although the youngest is always kicking off, I can't imagine how hard it would be to have my 11 year old doing the same.

Good on you for being so organised with your shopping and it must have felt truly awful not to finish it up. Your mum sounds very unsupportive and horrid. I am assuming you are in the UK (I am not), is there any supportive voluntary/paid help that you could get?

OP, I really feel for you. My dd is 11 I am a single parent too and she hates going out. Is she your oldest? Are any of your children older who could look after her whilst you pop out for a short while? Is she ok if engaged with things she enjoys at home?

There are babysitting services online that have been suggested by single parents who use the frolo app. Would this be a possibility on occasions?

Do you have any organisations near you who have mentors for autistic children. A friend of mine mentors autistic girls and takes them out every week to give the parents a break and to work on life skills with the girls she mentors. Could you ring the national autistic society and speak to them to see if there are any such organisations near you?

Thank you both, she is my oldest yes unfortunately, my other children are 9 7 and 4, which makes it so much harder with her being the oldest, I can’t go anywhere because of her my other kids are missing out on things, I can’t take them to see Santa which my 4 year old really wanted to do, I can’t even go to the park it’s simply out of the question as she will kick off, she hates babies and toddlers that’s another trigger, people always say avoid her triggers but it’s everything! Babies and toddlers screaming, she wears ear defenders but it doesn’t change it, we’ve been forced to leave so many places because of her melt downs. she’s getting harder and harder the older she gets (everyone told me it would get easier, it really really doesn’t) she is so strong now and tall and I can’t stop her when she’s kicking off, I’m sick of everyone staring at me, I don’t know if there is anything in my area I will try to have a look thank you.

Which area are you from?