Does your Ex wash your child’s clothes?

[thethreemuskateers]

So myself and my ex split in April he has our 3 year old two nights a week. Doesn’t play maintenance as he’s claiming UC and doing a 2 day a week access course. He said he’s skint! He always sends our sons clothes back dirty and mixed in with clean clothes as I always send spares. It’s really annoying me that he is such a lazy bar steward! Am I over-reacting.

Yanbu a grown adult can wash clothes. Next it will be he washes them but sends them back wet.

I'd rather it came back dirty. Usually things are left behind. If he was washing stuff too I'd never see it. Kids go one night a fortnight. So it's more IMPortent they have everything here.

I don't t mind either as he uses so much fabric softener it makes me feel sick.. so I told him not to wash them
I e also seen the state of my ex's pants 😩 so I don't want my kids clothes swilling around with those either 🤢

Not any more. We're 50/50, and he used to, but they either came back damp and therefore smelly, or still not clean, or with stains baked in. It's actually just easier if he doesn't try.

Should he be able to do this task properly? Yes of course, but weaponised incompetence was an issue in our marriage, and I don't see that changing. If I pretend to be exasperated and tell him not to bother, he thinks he's won, and gets to focus some of his petty, controlling bullshit on this. And I avoid the bullshit elsewhere, and know that the clothes coming back are likely salvagable.

No, it wouldn't occur to him.

His new woman occasionally washes some but that always precedes a 'why doesn't ds come and live with us' pitch. She has nothing in her life and periodically tries to persuade ex to go for full custody so she can play 'mummy'.

I'd rather deal with dirty clothes. It's five minutes work and no bother.

No he doesn't, it's been nearly 3 years. I've bought it up often and for a couple weeks he'll wash the odd thing but things will get shrunk, he'll wash stains in, ruin stuff. So now I'd rather him just leave it even though it's really frustrating. He thinks he's amazing but he does the bare minimum

I'd rather my ex didn't bother!

My kids don’t see their dad but if they did I would rather he didn’t bother either as it probably wouldn’t come back at all then or come back wet!

weaponised incompetence

Great phrase!!! This.

Thanks everyone, he did once wash one jumper but it came back wet 😂 he was absolutely useless when he lived with us so I don’t know why I’m surprised.

Hahahahahahaha. No. As with yours, they come back filthy, inside out and stuffed into the bag mixed up with clean stuff (if they come back at all).

Yes he does we have a 3/4 split during the week so they have clothes at each house and I only send them in what they are wearing.
This creates it's own issues in terms of distribution and we have to redistribute every once in a while (like this week when I've run out of trousers for one DC).
Also, I buy the children nicer clothing IMHO so it's annoying it often ends up at his.
But I guess the DC are enjoying it so that's what matters.

DP has his children EOW, and he always make sure to do a wash Sunday morning so that the only things going back dirty are the clothes they’re wearing (and the occasional item that gets “misplaced” and found as they’re packing )

She always sends a selection of clothes and spares, so it’s really the least he can do, and the children much prefer wearing their “own” clothes, as well as growing out of stuff rather quickly!

Yes, they have clothes at each house and travel between houses in whatever they'll happen to be wearing.
This has been the case since we split when they were small (2 & 5).

Haha! No! He doesn't even do his own washing, his mum still does it

@Underpaidsnackbitch

Haha! No! He doesn't even do his own washing, his mum still does it