Finding Christmas hard this year

[Beakerandbungle]

Hi all

Just wanted a moan really. I don’t know why but for some reason I’m finding Xmas really hard this year. It’s my 4th year since ex left so don’t know why but am finding dealing with everything on my own and trying to be positive for the kids just overwhelming. Also really dreading that period where they go to their dads and I’m on my own. Don’t have any family near and all friends are seeing their own families. Travelled to see the family I do have for my birthday and they pulled out last minute because of covid. Just feel very alone with everything I guess.

Maybe its because of covid and the last two years. Have also had a lot happen this year ( medical condition diagnosed, sibling with cancer, suspected cancer myself but luckily clear plus my eldest has SEN and it’s been a horrible year with him). Meant to put the decorations up today and can’t face it ( I will I’m sure!) and the thought of wrapping presents actually makes me want to cry!

Anyway just needed a virtual moan as don’t want to be so negative in real life!

Feeling the same! Lying in bed feeling teary. Usually love Christmas but not feeling it at the moment. My dd9 has ASD and we had her school Christmas fair on Friday which was pretty rubbish! Held on the playground, freezing cold and she was all anxious, clingy and unhappy. I thought it would be a lovely Christmassy start to the weekend, I was wrong! I spent a fortune on raffle tickets and won sod all!! I ordered our Christmas tree to arrive last night so we could decorate it today but it hasn't come so what I thought would be a nice day of decorating will be running around trying to get a decent tree. There are boxes of decorations everywhere cluttering up the hall but I just don't feel like doing anything. Family losses and sadness are making it feel hard this year.

It is rubbish isn’t it @lollipoprainbow.

I do think having a child with SEN can make things particularly difficult - because they often find the things other children love ( like run up to Xmas, birthdays etc) overwhelming and so instead of it being a joyful time it has extra challenges. I always find a it a reminder of how much harder life is for my DS ( and in a way makes me realise some of the things me and other DS have ‘lost’ a bit).

Sure is. Our tree has been delivered now (the delivery man got lost last night!) and I've booked a roast for this afternoon so feel a bit better. Time will tell !!

I actually get this to, I’ve been separated from my ex for the same length of time so it’s nothing new but I do still feel a bit sad, I guess it’s just the time of year, easy to feel lonely, I will do Xmas for the kids but I’m not really feeling Christmassy this year at all, kids won’t be going anywhere during the holidays as he is not involved at all, don’t visit family as just not close to them.

Christmas isn't the same. It's my 4th year too. Doing the presents. Santa thing etc on your own sucks. Then they go of to their dads Christmas evening to super dad Christmas. He has new girlfriend and is pulling out all the stops this year. Unlike the last few years where minimal effort has been put in.

I'm happy for the kids. I hope they have a great time but it leaves me feeling very flat.

This is my second year and first without them on Christmas eve and morning. I am happy for them but feel sad. I am trying to keep busy and trying to stop myself from getting into same position I was in last Christmas, which was overeating and crying and glad to have it over with. I have lots of books to read and saved films and tv programmes for Christmas and plan to go for lots of walks.

I think feeling flat describes it well!

I imagine it is also something to do with just how hard these last (nearly) 2 years have been, and then everything feels up on the air again when it had just felt like things getting back a little ( my youngest’s nativity was cancelled this morning). Also most of my friends are hunkering down with their families.

I guess I just feel lonely if I’m honest. And tired of doing it on my own.

Yes think that it is. Lonely. I'm so very grateful for what I have. I know I'm very lucky. Kids are with me most of the time. Home job etc.

It's that element of family and togetherness. I hate how I feel and wish I could shake it off. I try hard to embrace this. The kids will be off before I know it. And I want to so badly enjoy this time it is always tinged with sadness