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I can't cope with this anymore

16 replies

harman · 18/12/2007 11:37

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FioFio · 18/12/2007 11:39

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Anna8888 · 18/12/2007 11:42

for you Harman.

We have recently had to threaten my partner's ex with court action in order to make her take better care of my stepsons. Some parents have a very hard-hearted attitude to their children

harman · 18/12/2007 12:02

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LoveAngelGabriel · 18/12/2007 12:03

The CSA are utterly shite. This is so unfair.

harman · 18/12/2007 12:19

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charliecat · 18/12/2007 12:22

I knew this would be you...have you looked on the CSA website? i thought it had to be more than that.

AimsmumPaPumPumMeAndMyDrum · 18/12/2007 12:23

That is awful!

Although I think the way the CSA calculate it is anything over 52 overnight stays in a year and they will cut payments, so if you do reduce visits, it would have to be at least 2 a month.

The whole system is very, very flawed

charliecat · 18/12/2007 12:23

We can then adjust the child maintenance based on:

how many other children are living with the non-resident parent, who they or their partner get Child Benefit for (a regular payment made to anyone bringing up children)
how many children the non-resident parent needs to pay child maintenance for
whether the child stays with the non-resident parent at least one night each week.

ARSE

harman · 18/12/2007 12:24

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charliecat · 18/12/2007 12:26

You told us:
Number of children maintenance will be paid for: 3 or more

Number of other children living in the non-resident parent's household: 0

Number of nights, on average, the non-resident parent has the child(ren): 52 to 103

The non-resident parent's net weekly income: £ 400

The weekly amount of child maintenance is approximately: £86

So hes saying he earns 400 a week or less...coz 500 a week put him at £107 a week.

harman · 18/12/2007 12:35

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charliecat · 18/12/2007 12:43

erm....340ish a month would be 1200 so just under that i guess...

Creole · 20/12/2007 13:39

Please don't punish the kids by cutting overnight stays, because its them that would suffer. Consider yourself lucky that you get something, some of us don't get a dime.

I do feel for you though, it is hard!

yerblurt · 22/12/2007 19:01

Sounds very poor, but the CSA are a failing organisation.

If your ex is doing clever accounting, there really isn't a great deal you can do IMHO...

The 'going rate' on dad tax is 15% of next income for 1 child, 20% for 2 then 25% for 3 kids. There are allowed deductions for other children he may have - either by a new partner or care for i.e. stepchildren, plus deductions are available if he has additional expenses i.e for the children having overnight staying contact. It starts off at 52 nights per year which he will be eligible for a 1/7 reduction.

Please don't cut the number of o/n's as contact and finance are legally treated differently and it would only be punishing the kids by them seeing less of their dad.

He probably IS pulling a fast one, but how to get around it? Not sure really, sorry.

My ex is a greedy bitch, I have a shared residence order - which legally states that both me and the ex are equal legal parents and both have residency of daughter. I used to pay full-time nursery fees at my employers nursery (£550 per month) voluntarily as the care was fantastic. I can claim NO tax credits or anything - my ex can claim the lot as she has the child benefit book.

When madam finished nursery, I got a snotty letter from her solicitor expecting me to cough up £550 per month to the ex as child maintenance. I told where to stick it as the CSA online calculator came out at £151 per month which I pay by standing order under a private arrangement. My ex - she can claim all the tax credits and I can get NO additional help, despite my daughter living at mine for 35% of the year. The CSA apparently classifies me as a 'non-resident' parent .... what a joke the system is.

harman · 23/12/2007 13:55

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anorak · 23/12/2007 14:03

harman, I do feel for you. I brought up two children with NO support from their father and I hate him too for that and many other reasons. I have never been able to make my children see that he didn't do enough for them because he only cares about himself, but when they grow up they will understand.

The law is completely inadequate on this subject. Even in Victorian times there would have been extended family to help most people in this position. I only wish I could say something helpful but all I can do is empathise

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