What do you do when they don't return kids school uniform?

[LargeProsecco]

I have 2 DC age 13 &8. They have contact with their dad every Tuesday night & every 2nd weekend from Friday after school through to Monday morning.

He is not returning the school uniform in time, meaning that I'm often having to pick things up for DC to wear to school that day from his before school some mornings (eg 7.45am)

I bought the majority of the uniform before I moved out & we have a legal agreement saying he should pay 50%.

He is a controlling fucker & I suspect a large part of this is to "keep me on my toes" and running around at the last minute. He's also crap round the house so it's also likely to be poor organisation on his part.

I have said I will pick up items on certain days & asked if he can keep 1 set (all he needs) & return the rest.

I'm fed up & so are the kids, having to drag them out of bed early to collect things.

Any suggestions for resolving this?

Hey, I came across your post while looking for advice for myself on the same situation.
DS age 6, goes to Dad’s Tuesday straight from school and my uniform supply has gone from 10+ of each item to nil in a short space of time. I rebuy everything constantly and still end up in the situation because Dad can’t do a bloody washing. Usual story - ‘I don’t have them’, ‘You must have lost them’ etc etc. School uniform rules have recently changed and children will be penalised if they are not in full uniform - yes really!
Sick to the back teeth of it.

I will be calling school tomorrow to explain my ex’s incompetence and ask them politely not to punish my son for his sheer lack of organisation. It’s probably your best bet too x

Also in reply to those who say there shouldn't be an issue with this - there is an issue when you factor in PE days - which are ever changing in Scottish schools. For example my child goes to school on Tuesday in uniform, his dad collects him and sends him in PE kit on Wednesday. He does not return any of the items my son had on on Tuesday and he accuses me of being 'ridiculous' when I ask for him to do so.

So yes... even the most organised of lone parents can come across issues when their co-parent is a twat.

At 13 and 8 I would expect them to remember their own uniform. Can you talk to them and do a checklist?

I have this problem with ex and it is infuriating! I bought DS a huge pile of second hand uniform during a school uniform sale that I will raid when it goes awol yet again. He has never bought him an item of school uniform for secondary school and he is in year 9. Secondary school stuff is so expensive too - at least I can buy supermarket stuff for DD in primary.

I also had a huge amount of lunchboxes and bottles go awol too so now I do lunches on changeover days that can be completely binned - in brown paper bags and plastic water bottles etc so I'm not stressed and they aren't either. That helped.

Twats.

It is so frustrating but i think it's a crappy power play.

My ex often keeps clothes, never washes them so they're never seen/worn again and just languish forever in the laundry basket. He once returned a massive bag full of old clothes they'd grown out of and hardly worn. So infuriating. I now only ever send them to their dads in the clothes they wear and one spare set. Once dirty, they put them in their bag to bring home. Means he gets away with never having to do the laundry which is annoying but i just suck that up.

Pathetic and childish.

Yes, the twattery continues.

They arrive at his straight from school every Tuesday & alternate Fridays wearing uniform - which he just keeps hold of.

I'm going to stop being "nice" about it & start keeping hold of his stuff. I think it's the only way it will compute with him.

And I'm about to send him receipts for the stuff I've had to buy - I still have access to the joint account so can transfer it over myself, which will totally piss him off.