Ex telling DD I'm taking her away from him

[PurpleNebula84]

More of a rant than anything.
Currently on 50/50 split with ex, but I will soon be moving 40 mins away to be nearer my family, and his family too.
Today during tea (or dinner depending where you're from) DD (4) asks me why I'm taking her away from Daddy. I obviously explain she'll still see Daddy, I'm not taking her away, she can (even now) ring/video call him whenever she wants and we'll be closer to family and his mum and dad too. I then asked her if someone had told her I'm taking her away and if so, who. She replied "Daddy". I didn't say anything else, but I'm honestly a bit peeved. I didn't even make any plans to go until I'd discussed it with him and he seemingly gave his blessing on it (I'm guessing probably because he's found being a parent more than he has been before a lot more difficult than he anticipated).
I've documented it the notebook I have, but part of me feels like confronting him - my brain says let it slide for now and raise it if she says something similar again?
Another thing she's come out with is she doesn't like dancing anymore as 'it takes too long' - fair play Ex has been taking her, but he's previously made it abundantly clear he thinks dancing etc (except swimming) are unnecessary and pointless. I have an inkling he's complained as the group she is now in, the parents don't get to watch and have to drop & go and pick back up. I don't think he likes having to wait around for 45 mins.
Should I raise it, or just let it go for now?

Talking to your dad on the phone isn't really the same as spending time with your dad. You know that. You ARE taking her away from him. So is he really ok with this now?

Urgh, OP. Lots of people with fuck all understanding of what it means to be the one having to care for children with an ex who can’t actually do his share, even though he says he will. It can’t be the case that your job, your commitments are constantly compromised by a co-parent who uses you as his emergency back up. I would hazard a guess you are not doing the same to him? If he is going to 50/50, he needs his own back up in place and needs to be making sure he can fulfill the obligations he has towards his child in all but the most dire of emergencies. It sounds like your move will give you consistent back up - and free you to make a living and do your best by your child. Lord knows, one of her parents needs to do that. You have discussed with him and he has agreed. If his parents will also be local to where you are moving to, presumably he can look for work and move when he finds it if 50/50 is important to him?

You have done nothing wrong here. Please ignore the naysayers. Unfortunately, separated parenting is complex and maintaining the status quo isn’t always possible. Don’t feel bad for making parenting decisions that work for you when the ex has clearly shown he is unable to fulfill his side of the bargain.

I agree that you are completely in the right OP! What is wrong with some people on here! The fact of the matter is he should not have said this to your 4 year old DD. I have had similar issues with my ex in the past and it’s upsetting when they involve the kids. I would maybe have a word with him and say if your concerned please talk to me do not do it through DD.

He shouldn't have said it to her, but what he said was in essence correct.

Fair enough if you've been doing most of the parenting anyway, but as your earlier post said he was doing 50/50 (and it was only later you clarified that, actually, he had only been doing that for the past 8 weeks) then it's not surprising you're getting harsh replies.
To take a child further away from a parent that is minding her half the time is a big thing.

Obviously your set-up seems to be different and you're moving to where you can get more support. It's just that you didn't explain it very well at first.

What should he have said to OP? It seems like OP would have moved anyway even if he had asked her not to move. The reason why some men talk to their children about something like this is because they're sad and desperate. It's not ok but taking his child away is not ok either.

Thanks for your input @EnglishDad but this thread is now nearly 6 months old - I've moved and this is long over.
He can see his daughter when ever he likes - as I said, I'm no longer than a usual commute away and I travel further than the distance to work myself - he just doesn't.