Friend doesn't understand why I'm tired

[hosernoser]

Friend is more of an acquaintance, really, as I have only know them since this year.

We met up for a walk and I commented on how tired I was since starting new job, which entails me being on my feet most of my shift, friend didn't get why I was tired. For context said individual has never married or had children, had the same job for 30 years and has had good health for all of it. i know this because we were discussing things and she said so (so I am not assuming). She once commented that looking after a bonsai was too hard work.

But apparently I shouldn't be tired being a single parent with house, dogs, physical job and health issues.

I guess I needed somewhere to gripe about this and lone parents seemed like the place.

I know I need to ignore it but it really irked me.

You're only just getting to know her, so it can be disappointing when people turn out to be different from how you hoped they'd be.

Also, I know as a single parent I find it hard to find the time to socialise, so it can be especially disappointing when you don't have the best time with the people you have actually pulled out all the stops to meet up with! Not helped by Covid limiting opportunities to socialise, of course.

I'd try not to take it too personally as she probably wouldn't have meant to upset you - it just sounds like her realm of experience is different from yours so she couldn't easily relate to what you were describing. She might also have gone away wondering if you've actually got that much in common too.

I'd take it as an opportunity to adjust your expectations of the friendship - you now know not to lean on her for sympathy when you're struggling with single parent/health stuff, but perhaps there are other things you can both enjoy in the friendship (like the walking, etc)? If not, then you don't have to meet up with her!

Thanks. I get what you are saying and you are correct.

I actually told her I was tired in response to her asking why I hadn't been at the place where we volunteered lately. (I have been too bloody tired!) And she didn't seem to think it was valid!

It's probably not having enough in common, however nice someone is, including myself, that can cause some disappointment.

She asked you a question, you replied and she was judgmental. Which hasn't made you feel good at all.

You dont have to keep her as a friend or acquaintance you know.

Tiredness is a bit of an odd issue; people sometimes seem to think theirs is more valid than another person’s. How did she put it?

When people seldom get sick they are Invariably hopeless relating to other more usual mortals.

Sounds like she lacks empathy to me.

Have nothing more to do with her. You dont have to have empathy or intelligence to know that working and parenting is tiring.

I've had some corkers in my life and I either call them out or get rid of them.