Ok so should caveat this by saying I have absolutely no intentions of telling my daughter the truth but I'm really struggling at being painted out to be the bad one....
My ExH had an affair, started 2 weeks after DS was born, took me over a year to found out at which point he left. Now lives with the OW and although they are not married, she's basically a stepmum to DS.
I (obviously) really struggled initially but 5years later and I've moved on & feel completely over it, although don't have that high an opinion of exH or his DP.
I've never made any of this obvious to DS and he is oblivious. I'd like it to remain that way as after a couple of years of him not wanting to spend time with his dad, he's now quite settled and much happier.
My problem is that DS has been asking us both (separately) why we're not together anymore. I give a stock answer of "we didn't love each other anymore and are happier apart but both love you etc"
However, my DS has just been telling me that his dads version is that I was the one who was hard to live with, made his life so hard, always arguing with him etc
This all came out as earlier I was getting on to DS for his cheek and saying he wasn't playing his console until his room was tidy. His response was "no wonder my dad hated living with you, he said all you did was nag and argue and he's right"
DS has only turned 8 so was just reacting to being made to tidy his room.
However exH is very much a Disney dad so no wonder I come across as the strict and 'less fun' one.
Any advice on how to handle this? I don't have a relationship with exH that I can discuss it with him and don't want to enter a tit for tat and start slagging off DS' dad as it's not fair on DS.
Not actually sure there's much I can do without impacting DS but just wanted a rant!