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Lone parents

What's GOOD about being a single parent?

69 replies

Janos · 15/12/2007 19:34

OK, It's really hard work, no mnatter how mych you love your LOs. Sometimes....actually no, A LOT of the time it can be a real struggle. Not much money. Little or no support. Prejudice and judgemental attitudes.

BUT BUT BUT.

Despite all of that, I am SO much happier as a single mum.

And here is why.

  • No selfish, bullying, controlling XP casting a shadow over me and making my life miserable.

  • I have my own place. OK, it's not luxurious but it's warm, cosy (reasonably clean and it's MINE.

  • What I say goes in my own home.

  • No-one to think about but my and my DS.

  • The pride of knowing I can and do manage on my own.

    All of these things make me glad to be a single mum. And actually I think everyone who is should bloody well be proud of themselves!
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YumzieMumzieLaura · 27/12/2007 22:20

Whats good about being without our ex's? We get the remote control. We dont need to pick up their towels/boxer shorts, etc from the bathroom floor, etc, etc. We can open a bottle of wine whenever we feel like it cos we make the rules!

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yULeYSEES · 27/12/2007 22:23

charlie is your ex a twat then?

Yes you're right we should all be proud.
Was terrifying for me though as I went from mam's to dh to me and the boys. Big girl now at 39

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yULeYSEES · 27/12/2007 22:24

Oh and when ex has kids..which is a lot...I can go out or have a karaoke party without the 'look' and him not joining in.

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Janos · 27/12/2007 22:35

"Oh and when ex has kids..which is a lot...I can go out or have a karaoke party without the 'look' and him not joining in."

That's a good feeling. I was always getting looks from XP. He liked to keep me in line and well under control.

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yULeYSEES · 27/12/2007 23:16

oh mine was just a boring bastard janos

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OverMyDeadBody · 28/12/2007 11:23

I started a thread a while ago about this exact thing, got loads of great replies, it's here

There are so many benefits to being a single parent, the thought of having to share it all with someone else makes me break out in a cold sweat!

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OverMyDeadBody · 28/12/2007 11:25

just read your post purpleone, love it! My sentiments exactly.

The only person sharing my lovely king size bed with me is DS, and he never hogs the duvet!

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Janos · 28/12/2007 11:25

i "oh mine was just a boring bastard janos"

Oh, mine was boring AND a controlling bully. Great combo

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Janos · 28/12/2007 11:27

BTW OverMyDeadBody

Sorry to steal your thunder . It is great, though, isn't it?

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OverMyDeadBody · 28/12/2007 12:09

no need to apologise, you'r not stealing my thunder!

It's always good to keep reminding ourselves and others of the great things about being single, lets keep these threads going!

Maybe some people stuck in really bad relationships will get the courage to leave when they read all the good things about being single on these threads, coz the media usually concentrate on the bad

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mummyofaprincess · 28/12/2007 17:36

janos great thread

Well i dont have my xps washing, so i dont have to wash everyday now!<br /> <br /> I dont have to iron his shirts every bloody day! (with him moaning to hurry up, or there not done right etc etc)

I dont have to share my bed <br /> <br /> I dont have to watch top gear every night

I can have the pc to myself when DDs playing lovely with her toys

I get to eat what i like when i like.

I dont have the added stress of him moaning when DDs not behaving<br /> <br /> I dont have to waste time with listening to whats been happening at work and who has pissed him off today

I can go shopping and buy what I want, not what he wants!

I also get to have all the special moments with DD

I also dont have him moaning about the hoovering not being done, or if i havent washed up straight away (erm you have hands aswell get on with it instead of moaning at me about it )

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Janos · 28/12/2007 19:08

Oh yes, all mess is my OWN mess (well DS too...)

I don't cleaning that up so much. Well I don't like it but, y'know..

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Janos · 28/12/2007 19:09

I don't mind...d'oh!

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bini · 28/12/2007 20:14

What's good about being a single parent. Well... I'm less stressed, my little boys are more settled, I can watch what I want on tv, my flat is becoming my space and I am starting to organise/redecorate my way, my kids are learning manners and good behaviour (f*k and w**er being heard less often now), my discipline techniques are working now because I don't have an overgrown child messing it all up. I don't have to lie next to ex wanking in bed, or listen to him watching endless porn in the other room. I don't live in fear of him coming in drunk and kicking off. I am gaining self confidence and self respect now and I love looking after my two boys without ex making us all unhappy. I have definitely chosen the best life for us despite being skint, feeling tired and not going out much. I feel really fortunate

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tabbi · 28/12/2007 20:19

This is such a brilliant thread!!! I'm in the process of separating at the moment, and having a really, really hard time. I'm surrounded by couples where I live, and feel quite an oddity- so to read such positive messages is a real boost.
And God- can I relate to everyone.
But, when he has finally gone [he's waiting for his cash] I will be so pleased to be rid of the overgrown teenager that he is. Never uses washing machine/ dish washer / is obsessed with computer games...

I blame his mother. She waited on him like a slave. So mothers of sons, beware, train your offspring to be self sufficient, or you'll be to blame for the next generation of unhappy women.

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Janos · 28/12/2007 20:38

Amen tabbi.

I have a DS and he will be bought up to pull his weight! I can't bear men who expect 'mummy' to do everything.

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bini · 28/12/2007 20:42

Absolutely!!! My 2 ds's will be fully able to cook, work a washing machine, hoover etc etc. I couldn't bear it if they grew up to be the same as their father who, if he was an animal, would certainly be a sloth!!

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Parsleypants · 28/12/2007 20:55

I have complete control of my finances - what little there is of them..! When I was married I was a SAHM and dh dealt with all the financial stuff - which landed us in the sh*t and was the primary reason we split. It feels good to know exactly what we (me and 6yo ds) are spending.

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ArchiesMama · 17/01/2008 23:38

I chose to be a lone parent and have loved it so far.....but thats only 3 months so im sure it will get tougher! Altho me and his dad are mates most of my stress has come from issues to do with him!
Although when he does occasionally spend time with daddy i get a break and I think ive been out more than any other new mums i know! Also I have a huge group of great friends around me and I know without them it wud be sooo much harder!

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wooga · 18/01/2008 12:52

Not having to hide stuff for ds's lunchbox-my h used to eat it despite me telling him what it was for.

Also much easier to cook as h was really fussy- a mummy's boy who had limited foods he would eat (unless they were dc's-as above!).

A much nicer toilet-no h peeing everywhere-used to think it was ds doing it, but it was my lazy h-he couldn't be bothered to lift up the seat.

No more worrying that h would say something embarassing outside ds's school-usually personal comments about other people's looks.

I only have two dcs now instead of three!

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davidtennantsmistress · 18/01/2008 13:04

I can do everything in my own time, how I want, when I want.

(might have well of been a single mum ages ago as H was always away with work but anyhow)

no more alarm going off at 6.30 - and then hit the snooze button till 7.30 when it's a rush to get out the door to work.

no more thinking OMG i'm not at home to cook his dinner/lunch - instead we have lunch where we are

no more star trek/wars/top gear every night

the computer's all mine!

can listen to the music I like. (still deciding what that is)

have got loads more confidence now

can talk to who I want wihtout feeling like I shouldn't.

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davidtennantsmistress · 18/01/2008 13:07

( but I do miss the hugs on the sofa - having someone there when I want (not when he wants but when I do! lol) companionship I suppose they call it - sound about 50 now! oh and the obv other one as well but can wait on all of that till someone good enough comes along. )

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Xavielli · 19/01/2008 17:29
  • Having half the imcome I used to and still having more left at the end of the week (go figure)
  • Having to clean up what I see or cause to be messy.
  • Being "Xavielli" again instead of "Ex's bird"
  • Being seen for the person that I am as opposed to the baby making machine that I was.
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Scramble · 19/01/2008 21:57

Having good days like today, exH had the kids so I spent all morning in town looking for jeans in the sales, Subway for lunch, came home and sprawled out with magazine and a cuppa. Once he was gone kids worked together building a theme park on the PC, while I made soup, and bolognaise for the freezer, then made toad in the hole, helped DD make angel delight and she helped me make bread.

The point is I did what I wanted to, when I wanted to and felt like it was a good positive day .

Tomorrow I have inlaws for dinner and clearing out DD's room for painting so might not end with the same satisfied glow .

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Scramble · 19/01/2008 21:59

Funny I have half the income to run the house but still have money left .

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