Do I let my baby dad know baby is born?

[jamie01]

Hi

So me and my ex partner the father to my week old baby are no longer together. We separated about 4 months ago due to domestic violence, it was a tough pregnancy as I had to go to court and eventually a week before I gave birth he was given a 2 year suspended sentence including a 5 year restraining order and told to go through family court in regards to child arrangements.

Obviously I don't want any communication with him and to be honest I don't want him seeing the baby as the trauma from what occurred is too fresh at the moment and he's not a very nice person.

However I feel like I owe it to my daughter to let he's mum know she has been born, I'll never stop her from seeing him at a later date under supervision and I don't want to give him the satisfaction that I never tried cos I feel huge mum guilt already with her not growing up with a dad.

Any advice would be appreciated
Thanks x

I absolutely agree with you.
I have been taken through the legal route myself so I know first hand it’s best to be prepared as it can sometimes feel like you’re on trial and you don’t want him to play the victim (which I’m sure he will try).

@BurntTheFuckOut

She said Ex partner and she cannot add him via post without his signature. Women can't list men as fathers to their children's birth certificates unless they're married to them or if a court has issued a declaration of parentage.

And I'd keep your baby as far away as possible from your daughter. You have the courts on your side

If you do that then he has evidence you are not afraid of him and he can challenge the restraining order and ask for contact

Just leave the area and get on with your life away from him

That’s my thoughts, if you contact him it will look like you aren’t that scared of him, you don’t need to prove you tried to let him know, the whole point of the restraining order is so that he can’t contact you (and you’re obviously not suppose to contact him)

@Theunamedcat

If you do that then he has evidence you are not afraid of him and he can challenge the restraining order and ask for contact

Just leave the area and get on with your life away from him

This.

It's directly against your daughters best interests for you to have contact, especially to initiate it.

Give her safety, security and consistency.

Not exposure to a relationship with an abusive, violent abuser.