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Original poster

Child maintenance if other parent is moving abroad

17 replies

Catmama1992 · 04/11/2021 21:28

Hello, I’m only 8 weeks pregnant but have recently been abandoned by the man who I was with for 6 months and got me pregnant. He has told me he will be moving to Canada in January and no longer wishes to speak to me.

I want to claim for child maintenance from this man, but worry this won’t be possible due to his move to Canada? Thank you everyone in advance.

OP posts:
Christabellaxx · 04/11/2021 22:36

On the gov.uk pages there is a reciprocal agreement between Canada and the Uk for CMS
www.gov.uk/government/publications/countries-where-you-can-enforce-child-maintenance-decisions

BonesInTheOcean · 04/11/2021 22:58

It's hard enough to get fathers in the same country to pay.

Are you able to support yourself alone? Do you really want to be tied to this man on the off chance he decides to come back?

TurnUpTurnip · 04/11/2021 23:19

Agree with another poster, it’s hard enough in this country my ex doesn’t pay a penny for our 4 kids 😒 I would bare in mind that you might not get anything at all

Original poster
Catmama1992 · 04/11/2021 23:31

@BonesInTheOcean

It's hard enough to get fathers in the same country to pay.

Are you able to support yourself alone? Do you really want to be tied to this man on the off chance he decides to come back?

@BonesInTheOcean no I don’t make enough to support myself and a child, I’m really worried now Sad
OP posts:
TurnUpTurnip · 04/11/2021 23:41

Tbh you’re not suppose to rely on maintenance anyway.. wouldn’t you qualify for benefits if you don’t earn enough?

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 04/11/2021 23:45

Canada is (or was last i checked) one of the good ones.
It helps if they can locate him but other than that, just go through child maintenance options and see what happens.
Definitely don't rely on the money if it does transpire they can get him to pay.

Rtmhwales · 05/11/2021 00:10

I'm Canadian and get child maintenance off my ex in the UK, though he does this voluntarily.

Canada and the UK are part of the REMO deal (reciprocal enforcement of maintenance orders) and it seems fairly straightforward to enforce the order on him once he's here. Canada is great about child support issues.

fallfallfall · 05/11/2021 00:17

quebec is not on that list, so one province missing.

unicornsarereal72 · 05/11/2021 07:00

I'm sorry to say I wouldn't hold my breath. For parents that don't want to pay they will find a way.

My ex Has changed jobs. Gone self employed. Moved house and changed his phone number.

Best part of four years and I have had about six payments. Then he moves on I. One way or another and the CMS can't trace him.

I would Hope for the best but plan for the worst. Look at the entitled2 website. You will get some support with universal credits but it isn't a lot.

benelephant · 05/11/2021 07:05

It looks like Canada has a good Cms arrangement HOWEVER if he's not going to pay then he's not going to pay, wherever he lives. He's already making noises that he doesn't want to hear from you. Would you be entitled to any benefits?

Pompom2367 · 05/11/2021 07:48

Speak to him first op you need to come to an agreement

BonesInTheOcean · 05/11/2021 09:14

no I don’t make enough to support myself and a child, I’m really worried now sad

Brutally, I dont think you should have this child. How old are you?

First thing you need to work out - do you want a baby now? Do you want a baby on your own, without a partners support? What if the baby has special needs? Can you cope with that.

You should weigh up the fors and against.

Fors: these are personal, and as i dont know you, I cant comment

Againsts Most likely: You will supporting yourself and a child, you will not get any emotional support from him, the child will most likely never know their father.
These are not reasons not to have a child if you are in a good place, but i am not sure you are

(I apologise if you think I am pushing you to the decision I would make)
Whatever you decide is the right thing, and only you can make this decision.

LadyDanburysHat · 05/11/2021 09:16

I would consider whether you really want to go ahead with this pregnancy. You are only 8 weeks and there are still options. Do you want to spend your life battling for money to help raise your child?

forinborin · 06/11/2021 13:33

REMO orders do exist, but they are virtually unenforceable in practice. By that I mean that all the legal mechanisms are there, but you are likely to spend 10x more in legal advice in order to put them in place (or, if you choose to diy it, it will become a full-time job for a couple of months). And any change in circumstances could void them and you will need to start afresh.

BlackeyedSusan · 08/11/2021 09:52

You probably can afford it with benefits and some careful budgeting with a bit of help. I found loads of people gave us stuff when needed it. (Second hand) and you did not need as much as expected. Eg a cot bed will last until they are 7ish. (Friend had three boys in a two bed house, me two kids in a two bed flat.) I pass stuff on now to charity shops or donations.

Look into what is available in your area.

Sunchi · 13/10/2024 20:59

@Catmama1992 Hi, I've just found this thread about REMO. There is a separate thread for REMO cases on Mumsnet and I contribute regularly.

I see that this was back in 2021 and I am sure things have moved on for you by now, but if you pursued unpaid child maintenance through REMO, then it would be great if you got in touch.

I now have a separate Facebook group about these issues called Get Child Maintenance from Abroad.

Sunchi · 13/10/2024 21:07

@Catmama1992 Has anyone done the REMO route for child maintenance. That's what the other thread is called.

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