Never get a break

[TurnUpTurnip]

And how do you manage? I’ve never had a break from mine in 5 years, I am so exhausted both physically and mentally, I have my mum but she would never have all of the children just my oldest really but even then that’s not often, so it means I’m never without my children, I’m so tired I can barely get up out of bed in the morning, my children don’t sleep (oldest 2 have autism and are up most of the night) then I’m expected to get up at 7 to get them to school when I’m lucky if I’ve had 4/5 hours sleep. How do others cope that never get a break?

Rest when you can. Even if it means they are in bed with you awake. You are resting

I work 4 days so I have a day to do jobs shopping etc today I've planned nothing.

Can they join any clubs. Scouting is very Inclusive.

Depending on their ages and needs it gets easier. My eldest has asd and adhd but can do his morning routine at weekends so I get quiet time until ten.

I’d look into additional support for the children with autism. Contact social work if need be. You may be able to get respite or an out reach programme for them - benefits the children greatly and gives you a rest.

Stay strong OP!

Is their father not in the picture at all? Or his parents?

Can you get any help OP? Have you spoken to Contact A Family? They may be able to help.

I know a lone parent with a disabled child and she is battling her local authority for some support.

I am a single parent and I know how hard it is - I'm also exhausted, although my children don't have SEN.

No their father is not involved at all and hasn’t seen them in a year, before that he only ever saw them at my house and wouldn’t take them at all he’s never had them over night since we split 5 years ago so even when he saw them I never got a break, he would only see them at mine, because I won’t allow that anymore he stopped seeing them. Unfortunately he’s parents have both passed away.

I’ve thought about respite but I’m not sure I would qualify as both my children are HF I know people don’t like that term anymore but that’s how I would describe them, they both attend mainstream, I’ve tried clubs with my son but he doesn’t like them he use to go to football club he made me pay for it which I had to pay 10 weeks sessions in advance then decided after 4 sessions he didn’t want to go anymore, my daughter can’t go to clubs as she requires 1:1 support.

The alternative is to sort out their sleep I think. How old are the oldest 2?

If they have HFA surely they should sleep? (My eldest son has HFA so I'm basing this on my experience with him). Can you get advice from a specialist about this? A good night's sleep will make all the difference to you.

Depending on your children's needs do you get DLA. I used this to pay 1-1 support for my son to attend Cubs/scouts. It now pays for his counselling.

No not really with the sleep, my daughter has 1:1 all day in school and an ehcp but apparently she isn’t behind enough academically to need a special school by HF I mean they don’t have a learning difficulty and both do ok academically but like I said my daughter is up all night (and this keeps the others up and me) she lacks danger awareness but she’s not severe enough to need a special school I’ve been told as been trying to get her into one, academically she is ok but mentally and emotionally she is much younger than her age, sleep has always been the issue as she just doesn’t switch off, last night she didn’t sleep until 2am this keeps the other children awake. We get dla but mrc as don’t want to rock the boat, I’m waiting a paediatrician appointment for melatonin but that seems like ages ago I asked to be referred I haven’t heard anything back yet.

Our gp won’t give us melatonin we have to see a paediatrician

I think you need advice about what help you're entitled to either financially or otherwise from your LA. I would suggest Contact a Family or Gingerbread. Have you tried the Autistic Society too? I wouldn't worry about rocking the boat- you need some support.

I think as a priority you need to sort out sleep - if you get more sleep, you will feel more able to cope with everything that life throws at you.

It sucks being a lone parent sometimes - it is exhausting and relentless and lonely, I know that too.