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Original poster

Comparing yourself to the Disney dad!

10 replies

november90 · 26/10/2021 20:05

Does anyone else do this? My son has just got back from his dads tonight and his dad told me how amazing he'd been, anyway he's had a massive meltdown going to bed for me and when I asked him what we should do tomorrow he started telling me all the things he's done with his dad who has "loads and loads of money"...... I know I should just let it go in one ear and out the other but I'm really struggling with letting myself feel like rubbish when comparing myself to him :(

OP posts:
Vix1977 · 26/10/2021 21:02

Sorry to hear this OP Thanks

I have a DSC and they are always really well behaved at our house and I am aware that the mum really struggles with behaviour. I think when they stay at ours, it's a special time and a different house so they are excited and on best behaviour.
But they talk about their mum all the time. It's really sweet how she is always their first thought when doing things and tells us all the stories of what they have been doing together.

I know it's not great advice as you will always compare, but just know you are his rock and his home. No matter how much money daddy has or what fun they have. You are his comfort and safe place
Xx

Nanny15 · 26/10/2021 23:21

My little boy is like this, i was told its because its their safe place so they can relax and be themselves.
Just keep doing what you are. Your a brillaint mum.😊😊

bumblebee1980a · 26/10/2021 23:25

Because you're his safe place.

He is comfortable with you, you're his home so he can just be himself.

mrsfollowill · 26/10/2021 23:31

He's just being 'himself' and feels at ease and able to do this when with you. My nephew used to stay with his grand parents for a week at a time in school holidays (my parents). Was a holy terror for my sister when he got home and screamed at her he had been good all week and couldn't hold it in anymore! He was about 7 at the time and is now a very well adjusted 20 something Grin

Original poster
november90 · 27/10/2021 10:45

Thank you so much for the lovely replies everyone. I will screenshot this chat to read whenever I'm feeling down, so lovely of you all!
I was having a wobble last night because of soem comments ex made. Basically son got upset because he dropped his sweets and ex felt the need to tell me about this and say that it was just ds masking his sad feelings about leaving his dad. It just really bothered me. Ex is so self absorbed he makes our son getting upset over a dropped sweet (which is so expected of ds) about him. He just makes everything about him all the time and it completely overwhelms me. He's always "counting down the sleeps"until ds goes to see him again and these comments just make me feel really inferior despite the fact that ds spends most of his time with me and I should feel more in control.
Sorry if this is rambling! 🙈 like I said, just having a wobble!

OP posts:
thenewduchessofhastings · 27/10/2021 10:54

My brother is a Disney dad to my niece;he lives with my parents who enable this behaviour and also spoil her and don't have any boundaries.

We took said niece on a 8 Day holiday with and she was a holy terror the whole week as it was "daddy let's me do this" and "daddy let's me have that";being told no and having boundaries set were abit of shock for her;I mean how dare someone on daddy's side of the family not spoil her right?

I've a new found respect for her mum that's for sure;parenting her for 8 days was really hard work something my brother has idea about as he has her for 24 hours a week.I don't think he's actually spend anymore that 2 nights in a row with her in the 8 years since he split with his ex.

thenewduchessofhastings · 27/10/2021 10:55

*has no idea about

BadlyFormedQuestion · 27/10/2021 11:01

Another thing to remember is that the Disney dad story is not as lovely as it might look from the outside. Even if the child focuses on all the stuff they get and things they do, Disney dad parenting is really quite unsettling for most children.

I’ve seen both sides of it and, genuinely, the situation in Disneyland house is not something you’d want to be part of.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 27/10/2021 11:05

Have you suggested he has more time with him. Maybe he needs to do a bit more of the grunt work and allow you to be a bit more Disney Mum.

Original poster
november90 · 27/10/2021 12:32

You're right, there's definitely two sides to every story and I'm sure it's hard for everyone involved in these parenting set ups. I was just feeling insecure last night, because it's just hard. But I love children so much and I love being their mum and their home. I wish I could spend everyday with them 💔

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