Can't help envying ex's new relationship!

[tetti]

Feels sad feeling sorry for myself,but having one of those moments..:-)
The ex who left me back in the summer is moving in with his new girlfriend(the catalyst in us breaking up basically).
Ok,he did me a favour as I had longed to get out of our miserable relationship for years,and I certainly don't love him any more or feel any feelings of attraction for him whatsoever(ugh! springs to mind!lol)

Anyway,I can't help envying him in a way.He's found love again,or more to the point,he's in love with someone who feels the same way back.
I have someone in my life,but really would be kidding myself if I were to think it'd ever lead anywhere.
Have had a casual relationship with a guy 8 years my junior for the past month or so,doesn't help that he's so bloody sexy(think a young Lenny Kravitz,doesn't half make me melt!lol).But,it'll never lead anywhere,we get along great,he likes my daughter,she likes him,meet up maybe once a week,txt eachother,the sexual chemistry is out of this world,but we live in two separate worlds really.I am a mother in my early 30's,run a sml business(far from loaded though,lol) and I have my life,he lives w his mum,has his music,his sport,his life.Although we click,tbh,there is no hope of anything more long term,but,I take it for what it is and have fun while it lasts.

One day though I hope to meet someone who'm I actually can have more of a relationship with(not to live with mind you,I'm happy just living with my daughter.After having lived with a man for over 12 years,the last thing I want is to lose my independence all over again..)But having someone who'd be there for me,who'd fall for me hook line and sinker would be nice..Shame it won't be the younger guy I'm seeing now,but I just can't see that happening,guess I'd have to look for someone closer to my own age,not a guy who's in his mid 20's and who's still got all the partying and women to get out of his system!lol.
It's def harder being a single mum than it is being a single dad,eh?lol

Has anyone else had ahem,well meaning firends trying to set you up with singel men?That drives me MAD!lol
A friend went to me-You'd love this guy,he's a firefighter and he loves petite blondes!Oh,and he's a blonde(eh?)
Well,I'm not into blonde men,I have my type,the complete opposite to myself(as I am very pale,bloned and blue eyed,I go more for well,the Lenny Kravitzes and Snoop Dogg's than the Rydian's,lol!).Right or wrong,that's what I'm attracted to,and I don't care if a man is the nicest guy in the world,if I don't fancy him I'm not going to go out with him!
Why is it that some people think that because you are not in a relationship,that you're desperate to be fixed up on dates?argh!lol

ElenorRigby,You are the kind of narrowminded person who my path would never cross.Put your child first?Doh,what is it I'm doing?I live and breather for my girl.You know f all about me sweetie tbh.So ok,I'm a single mum,therefor I should join a bloody convent and never have sex again,right?
Or,I should move your new man straight in and totally mess up my child's life?Or I should abstain from any male contact until my child leaves home in oh,15 years?Sorry to be blunt,but get over yourself,you can go on being miserable,for my part?I'm having fun!

As long as both people in the relationship are happy, I don't think it matters if they live together or apart. They are the two people in that relationship, nobody else.

It is the 'norm' for people to live together but so what. Lots of things people do go against 'the norm', and thank god otherwise the world would be very dull.

I think it's only natural to envy your ex's new relationship a little. You are probably happy with your lot at the moment, but he seems to have it a littler easier and a littler happier iyswim? It will be easier for him to move on as he doesn't have the restraints you do (don't mean that in a bad way re your dd!!).

It may be a little harder for you to find something similar, but I'm sure it will be even better that what he has and make you even happier in the end as you know you did it by yourself despite all the obstacles.

FWIW my neighbour up the stairs is 50 and has been going out with his girlfreind for 25 years and both have seperate houses, never living with each other. When i was married I thought is it more habit than romance with them both?. Well my exh left my daughter and i 4 months ago, my neighbour has now got engaged and having dinner with them a few weeks ago they were like two love sick puppies - it was really nice - I have now changed my critical view on living apart!!!

Yes,I mean,before when I lived with my ex I don't think I could have handled living apart.But now I realise that in my case,it was simply because I was incredibly dependant upon him,too much so.He made me think I could not manage without him,and was so controlling.
Now I live on my own with my girl and have got all my independence and self confidence back again,it feels great to have that excitement back again,when the toyboy comes over(lol),it's really exciting,it's like getting ready for a date.We have seen eachother for over 2 months now,and I like it this way as we don't end up having rows over domestic chores,bills,who's doing what,or getting in eachothers faces.We see eachother when we want to,not because we have to,and it really makes all the difference.