Hi all
Hoping for some advice, experiences or happy to be told I’m being too precious.
Me and my ex share a 15 month old.
He now lives in a flat with his brother.
The flat is a upside down layout with the living room upstairs, all open plan. 2 bedrooms.
They smoke inside the flat, in every room and it is generally very unclean and untidy with workout equipment and tools from their work left around. Looks like a contractors shared house kind of thing.
They have a doubly incontinent cat also, so there is a smell and dishes of cat food everywhere.
My little girl also seems to be allergic to cat fur.
There is no baby proofing and I struggle to see how this could be done to a reasonable standard.
Brother is a heavy cannabis user, I believe they are both doing this at night now though.
They are very loud, have a had noise complaints, and brother stays up until 4/5am working out and generally being loud. (Above where the bedrooms are). Ex seems to have adopted this single contractors lifestyle.
My little girl was a horrific sleeper but is currently in her own bedroom doing really well and having a decent nap during the day.
Ex doesn’t think that any kind of routine is necessary and would not support any kind of routine (it’s pretty loose to be honest but works having a round abouts time for meals and a decent nap and she is quite a high energy baby and gets fussy)
I want to support their relationship and have no bad feelings towards him but I am worried about my child’s well-being if he was to go there but not sure if I can stop this.
He has parental rights.
I am happy to have him in my home and he is no threat to me and she loves him. But he struggles without support and believes his brother would be a good help, absolutely untrue. I am worried my baby would end up hurt from not being supervised properly.
Any advice welcome please