Travel between parents

[helloblodyn]

I have a little girl who resides with me and sees her dad every other weekend. When we split I stayed in the same city but he moved an hour away- and currently he picks her up on a friday from childcare and I pick her up on sunday afternoon from his.
Curious to see what peoples thoughts are on traveling between households. I would love to not have to do the 2 hr round trip on my sunday. I'd understand if I were the one who moved further away. I anticipate a huge backlash when I suggest he does two way travel so wanting to gauge if I'm being unreasonable beforehand to save myself the drama!
Anyone have a similar set up to me? Thanks in advance

Courts will normal expect you to share travel, you can refuse but then would he just not have her then?

I have a similar situation. In this case, I think my ex is probably so averse to a court order that he may tolerate my not chauffeuring my child to him. (Is your ex litigious?)

But I will follow your thread with interest.

He always comments about having to do the 'hard travel' during rush hour to come get her and that I have the easy ride on Sunday. Just seems a bit unfair that I'm planning my life around toddler schedule for 2 weeks to then be made to feel guilty that I'm not doing more when he's the one who moved from the area. He regularly accuses me of 'doing nothing' because I work part time and have her on my days off so I expect him to feel extremely wronged.
I'm not sure if he'd just not bother if I said I no longer wanted to travel. I wouldn't really mind logistically but am keen to try and keep her in contact with her Dad.
He would avoid spending money at any cost so doubt he would seek legal action but depends how wronged he feels.

I moved away. In no way did court ask exh to share journeys...

@PoolNooodle

Courts will normal expect you to share travel, you can refuse but then would he just not have her then?

Actually no they won't.

The father moved away so they will deem it his responsibility to do the travelling.

Op just explain that it no longer works for you a d that as he made the decision to move he should have factored that in and he will now need to do both journeys.

This is what we do but usually the other way around. (Actually his girlfriend does the other run so he just sits and has them delivered and ferried gone while he does nothing) Court ordered it as such to make it 'fair' despite the fact I'm the one rushing round driving them to all their various clubs through the week and paying the petrol for it all. He contributes very little financially when he contributes at all. I'd love to not have to do the journey too and he also moved further away than where he was initially (he turned up demanding access when it finally suited him when dc were 7 and 4 after 3 years of not being involved and was initially somewhere temporary) but i have to just get on with it or I'd get too angry thinking about it. Shared trips are generally what is expected.

Its interesting that there are a range of opinions and advice on this. Latest is that he is absolutely not driving over the Christmas period and so will take her from xmas eve- boxing day or i will need to get her. So I'm going to get her!

My ex left us and he has to travel for 6 hours every other weekend. He never wanted our son and is an asshole. I have however taken him up a few times and also meet him half way sometimes but when he only seems him 4 nights a month I'm not going to facilitate me travelling in the only days I am child free when he has the rest of the month he f free time.

@cosmicbabe

My ex left us and he has to travel for 6 hours every other weekend. He never wanted our son and is an asshole. I have however taken him up a few times and also meet him half way sometimes but when he only seems him 4 nights a month I'm not going to facilitate me travelling in the only days I am child free when he has the rest of the month he f free time.

Thanks for responding this is what I feel. I wonder if he just won't bother at all if i suggest i'm not doing it anymore. I'll Happily do it on occasions but can't think of doing this for the next 16 years if he sticks around

I think you’ve made a rod for your own back here unfortunately. Normally the parent who moved away would be doing all the travelling but you’ve set a precedent now that you will pick her up, not only that but as the receiving parent if you tell him you’re not picking her up he can just say fine she stays here until you do. Do you have a court order or is it by mutual agreement? I would also be stating you will not be driving during the Christmas period so she will just stay with you if it’s not court ordered.

@Tinkywinkydinkydoo

I think you’ve made a rod for your own back here unfortunately. Normally the parent who moved away would be doing all the travelling but you’ve set a precedent now that you will pick her up, not only that but as the receiving parent if you tell him you’re not picking her up he can just say fine she stays here until you do. Do you have a court order or is it by mutual agreement? I would also be stating you will not be driving during the Christmas period so she will just stay with you if it’s not court ordered.

Yeah he's not the easiest personality to deal with. The court didn't grant an order because 'we were working things out well and for the sake of the child it wasn't needed' i'm not sure why I started picking her up really, it made it easier to make sure she had all her suff as she kept coming back with things missing (important stuff like her coat), he doesn't provide stuff for her when there, she was in a travel cot until 4 weeks ago and now after i 'hassled' she's in a bed but there wasn't a sheet provided. I am told that I am 'controlling' for asking for things like this to be changed. I guess I'm conditioned to take the easiest route with him but doesn't mean it's the fairest. I guess if it means I can get her back ok I will keep going to get her.