I keep saying that I need to get myself an independent babysitter although costly if I am to have any sort of social life, and I know some exes don't see much of their children at all and I am quite lucky in that respect
BUT
our agreement is that ex H has the DCs every other weekend and will pick them up from the childminder once a week and possibly school once a week but I accept that the school pick up isn't always possible.
I manage it though by working from home one day per week and in fact his job has more flexibility than mine but he still will not really commit to it.
He doesn't really stick to the weekend thing either and actually refused point blank to take oldest DS to football last weekend unless he got a lift (he doesn't drive) which resulted in DS going alone with another parent (!) Their weekends with ex are usually 24 hours at most, and the picking up routine is complicated by the fact he is often away on business.
He also has a new partner which I am fine about but for example I was asked whether I could stay behind for a quick drink next week on a night when he is picking up the children from cm (at 6pm) and also the night before he goes away on a business trip.
So when I mentioned this to him his first question as always is when will you be back.
Turns out that he was planning to leave at 7pm (as he has probably promised to see his partner that evening) so I am then under intense pressure to get home from the drinks, he was only planning to see them for an hour and he gets out of giving them tea which he hates doing (claims its a bit difficult to get food in).
So even if I was just coming home as usual this doesn't really help me as I still have to leave work at roughly the same time as when I was picking them up myself from CM.
Do you think on the night he picks them up from the cm he should be prepared to stay with them for more than one hour. He always moans when I say I would like to go out somewhere but he as the non resident parent has so much more freedom than me and did so when we were married.
The DCs will notice his hasty exit too - they often comment on it!!
Whatever I do or say probably won't change anything and perhaps I do just need to get them to stay longer at the childminder if I want to go out on the odd occasion.