Dating when you are a full time single parent

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone 😊

I have a 6 year old. My ex left me when I was pregnant, I've been single for the majority of that time. Mainly because I wanted to dedicate my time to bringing up my daughter and not have to share my time.

Now she's 6, I feel ready to meet someone. I have a lot of family very close by so baby sitting isn't an issue. But I'm still unsure if it's possible to meet anyone 😬 I also work full time, so it's not like I have a lot of time on my hands.

The whole online dating thing is awful, I tend to use the apps for a few weeks and then delete them 🤦🏻‍♀️

Any nice stories out there of people who have gone on to meet a new partner and been in a similar situation?

I don't want to have to 'settle' so I'd rather just stay single tbh!

Thanks

No advice as in exactly the same position (albeit v little family around for babysitting). I don’t see myself being able to manage it, realistically- between work, child, and housework I don’t have time to go for a run most days, so couldn’t fit in actual dating- so just aren’t going there.

It bothers me sometimes but only in a vague sort of way. I had a very full and active dating life in my twenties so I don’t feel like I’ve missed out majorly.

I understand not everyone is as sanguine about this as I am!

Ha ha! That's good that you are happy, I am too. And yea totally get how difficult it is when you are so busy!

But I am keen to meet someone now, it's been so long that I've been single 😂

I have been single for over eight years now! I have a full-time job and no childcare support so I have no idea how to have a social life really, aside from occasional coffees with friends. You are a braver person than me, though, I have not tried dating apps.
Sorry that is not much help, just wanted to say you are not alone!

By the way, I think I posted a few years ago on your thread about your ex (under a different name). I can’t believe your DD is six now

Of course it’s possible! Many single parents have remarried and had other children etc so why wouldn’t it be? Not possible for me as I’m a lone parent with no support so not possible but sounds like you have a lot of support

I think I have made the mistake of my children becoming my everything. When x first left I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. This slowly changed. Mostly I am content. I recognise that as the children. Are getting older they are becoming more independent. And I need to build my own life away from them. Also. I'm not getting any younger. I'm 50 next year. Not that dating later in life isnt possible. I just imagine it is harder.

Saying all that I've had no luck on the dating sites. I'm sticking it out this time. See what happens. But I know I have hidden behind the childcare excuse for a long time now.

When the time is right I'm sure we will all make room for someone new. Although I do worry that if and when I meet someone it will be a difficult adjustment for the children.

Its hard, but it can be done.

I was very lucky, I started dating someonr who worked very close to my work, so we could see each other for lunch in the day, if it wasn’t for that I would have really struggled.

I also started actually asking friends and my neighbour (we know them very well) for the odd bit of childcare, so I averaged one evening date a fortnight. It felt cheeky at first, but the worst that can happen is they say no.

I did have my now husband meet my son after 6 months, it was the only way to increase how much I could see him. He was only 3 when we started dating, he is also used to meeting lots of my friends etc, so I wasn’t overly worried if he met him a few times and never saw him again.

I tried online dating and chatted to a few people, but I didn’t ‘match’ with anyone I felt I actually wanted to go on a date with, so I didn’t actually meet anyone online dating. I did however use a dating agency, I thought it would be a bit cringe, and parts of the application process etc were, but it was definitely worth it. They did singles nights and they would ‘match’ people (like the undateables), you could choose to chat beforehand or you could request a date to be arranged and have more of a blind date scenario. I knew if I chatted I’d fall in to not meeting again so I did go for the option of having the first date arranged. They must have got something right because I married him, the poor sod had no idea what he was letting himself in for