Loneliness: single and recently separated - ideas?

[Earlgrey19]

Separated about 6 months ago after 13 year marriage, and share care of kids (6 & 3) roughly 50:50, after always having done more of it when together. The house feels very empty without the DC.

I’m finding the loneliness just so crushing at times. It’s not that I don’t have friends. Or that I don’t get out there and do things. But at this stage of life (I’m 40), most friends are busy a lot with family lives. I manage a one-to-one drink occasionally with each but I’m not part of any regular social scene. I’ve tried online dating: went on 4 different dates with different men and each was so way off a good match it made me feel worse. I’m quite a positive, constructive person so am looking for ideas to improve the situation! I’m also quite shy, which doesn’t help, though I know I need to push myself.

I’m starting a new course in Oct, and I’m really hoping it’ll be in person (TBC), so I can meet new people.

Any other ideas, and how have others coped?

Oh gosh, I feel you! I'm recently single for the first time in my life at age 42 and I'm struggling to be honest. On line dating is truly awful. All my mates are settled or live miles away and it's difficult to meet up. Added to that I WFH so hardly leave the bloody house. No answers here, I'm sorry, but I just wanted to say you are not alone.... And if you are in the SE. Let me know!!!

I have been single for 5 years I find the longer you are the easier it becomes. You’ve only recently separated so it will take time but you will get there.

Thanks both.
@CrimeJunkie01 I totally agree with WFH making this worse! And I am in the SE! Feel free to PM me.

@Earlgrey19 I've messaged you

I agree with @PumpkinKlNG, in the early days I felt incredibly alone. But after time you adjust. Sounds like you are doing the right things to carve a new life for yourself.

I looked on meetup but I have 100% childcare so couldn't attend anything - you could look at that? If I was able I would do art classes and book clubs too as these are my interests. Oh and a weekend retreat of some description.

Oh and I used the mush app to find local mums with similar aged kids for trips out and that worked well for making new local friends. Dunno if it's still available but bound to be others.

I'm shy too and ended up befriending other shy people so it's not a barrier!

Thanks @NinaGonk : brilliant ideas x

Have you tried the Frolo app, it's for single parents and they have meet ups, it's worth a look.