I had just got my self confidence back after splitting up from my ex this summer,now I feel like the same jibbering wreck I was before!
We had got on pretty well since the split.But yesterday I saw that side to hi that I had forgotten.He came round to sort my computer out,couldn't find this mouse he was looking for(pathetic,I know!).
-Where the F is it?,I've seen iteverythime I've been round here.Tried to explain as I have a laptop,the one he'd given me,that I don't use a mouse.But over this trivial thing he lost it,and I mean he lost it BIG TIME!!!
He got so aggressive and shouting isn't the word,he went ballistic!!!
-You f-ing this,and you f-ing that!,F you!,he shouted at me,again making it impossible for me to get in a word edgeways.His face was so full of rage,and he was shouting right in my face,right in front of our terrified child.
I am the most laid back person ever,but I had enough,he's not coming round here to mine and my daughter's home behaving like this,so I shouted back at him for the first time in my life,asking him to shut up and think what he was doing to his child(before I was too timid,he'd broken down my selfconfidence bit by bit over 12 years),and it was like a plug had popped,literally!
All the hurt and anger I felt at the way he'd hurt me before came out.
I know he'd never lay a hand on me,but his behaviour is just as frightening as he terrifies the living daylights out of me when he's like this(and just imagine what our beautiful little girl feels,a 4 year old terrifiied of her dad).
She usually adores him,but she'll remember his outbursts for as long as she lives,believe me.He doesn't have any self control,any man would think-Hang on a minute,I should not behave like this in front of my own child!,but him?,nooo..
I took her to her room and comforted her.He rang later asking me what all that was about,and he said I triggered his rage by not knowing where the mouse was,please!!!!
He couldn't understand why I,and ourdaughter were petrified of him,nor could he understand why she didn't want to speak to him on the phone(come on!!!)
He can be the nicest guy,99 percent of the time,then something totally trivial like this can tip hi over the edge(before it used to be the way I cooked,if the meal wasn't up to scratch!)
I know he's been seeing an anger management therapist as him and his brother suffers the same problem(their mum is the catalyst,big time,she's the same!).I just feel like saying he cannot come round again until he gets his anger issues properly addressed and sorted out.Me and my girl had the greatest day before he came,we'd been out shopping,laughing,decorating the tree,the joy in her face...Then he comes round and totally wrecks everything.I feel so low today,and most of all,I hate him for losing his rag in front of our child and will never forgive him for that.Has anyone else ever had the same problem,and what did you do?