How to make groups, meet-ups etc more welcoming for lone parents

[daisiesandpeonies]

I'm a first time mum. There's lots of groups and meet-ups in our area, it's lovely. I've noticed that most of the mums who come along to groups and meet-ups tend to be in the same boat as me (married.) When lone parents come along they can seem a bit anxious and often don't return again.
My mother is a lone parent - I met my own father twice. She's superwoman and my best friend. My heart breaks a little to think that lone parents might not feel welcome.
What can be done to make it better, and make them want to come again? I always make an effort to chat but perhaps I'm coming across as too full-on/condescending. Reading this post back it sounds a bit insincere - but I 100% genuinely want to make lone parents feel included.

From my personal perspective it wasn’t usually anything to do with a group that made me not come back. As a lone parent with small DC I was permanently exhausted and had awful depression. If I made it to a group, it would take everything I had to get myself presentable enough to get there and I was usually late which sent my anxiety through the roof. Often I would talk myself out of going once I was already dressed and ready as I wouldn’t want to walk in late and miss introductions/have people looking at me etc. Or my anxiety would just be bad on that day. Other days I just didn’t have the energy to get myself there and be sociable. I found it really hard. Another issue was I didn’t always have the money to go. Even the surestart ones were only a £1 and I didn’t have it sometimes.

Things that probably would have helped would have been for the group organiser, or someone else who was there every week to make a point of saying it didn’t matter if anyone was late, come along anyway, for them to know my name and make me feel like I wasnt just a random face that wouldn’t be missed if I wasn’t there. And I guess really if others had been talking about how hard they found being a mum too as I thought it was just me failing miserably.

I haven't found going to groups any different to if I was in a couple and not sure why I would? I've found people mostly talk about the babies rather than partners so it doesn't really come up, and if it does or I get to know someone better I may mention it, don't feel like I've been treated differently because of it.

There was one group which had discussion topics at the end of each class and one was 'how does your partner help out' or something like that, with the assumption you had a partner which made me feel a bit awkward, so that could have been more inclusive / sensitive I guess.

I think people feel nervous at groups and don't return for loads of reasons, being a single parent not necessarily top of that list.

It's been a couple years since I've been to baby groups now but I didn't notice any difference between being a single parent rather than in a couple. The only time I did feel that there was a difference was antenatal classes as everyone else was there in a couple. My first NCT class I had to go alone. Thankfully one couple invited me to sit with them and made me feel welcome. I still felt a bit out of place for the remainder of the classes however my friend and birth partner came with me. Some of the other commented that it looked more fun to be with a friend rather than partner.

@daisiesandpeonies are these answers any help to you?

@MrsRobbieHart they have been helpful and made me think.
I'm on holiday atm so haven't had a chance to read back and digest the answers properly, apologies for that.
Definitely made me think that there's lots of reasons that someone might be anxious and might not come back other than having a different family set up, so I shouldn't make that assumption about them.
I'm not a group leader so don't control what's going on. But going to take it on board to try and minimise conversation about other halves - 'what does your husband do' etc or try to move the topic away from that if it's not relevant to everyone. If anything just because it's boring if it's not something you can join in on. Also making an effort to welcome people who seem anxious for whatever reason and remember their name for next time.
With the money a lot of the meet ups I go to are free - it's just people that live in the area meeting up with their babies. But do tend to be centred around getting coffee/going somewhere so perhaps should suggest more park meet-ups. And a bit more conversation about how hard it can be. Some of the mums in my groups - well, they're in every group - turn up like they and their baby just stepped out of a magazine, even if it's like 9.00am and they had school run as well. They're never late either. And I won't start on Mumstagram. We should be more honest about how tough becoming a mum is for everyone with the housework piling up etc, no one can be perfect 24/7 and the 'perfect family' notion is something that needs to be dropped in 2021.
Thanks for replying to me

I wouldn't worry about talking about other halves etc, you're never going to find a topic that is relevant to everyone. Even if someone did have a husband, they might be unemployed so could still find the 'what does your husband do' question uncomfortable.. and some people are married but in bad relationships etc. I think just being sensitive in general is a good idea - there's loads of things going on in people's lives, being a single parent just one of the things.

Think conversation about how hard things can be for parents (in any situation) is essential and really helps xx

The only thing I've ever wanted from groups was to be treated equally to the other mums. Being a single mum wasn't relevant a lot of the time and I hated being treated differently once people realise I'm on my own. It usually comes across as really condescending