Should I ask for more money?

[mmelody]

Hi, My I have a DD aged 12 and have been divorced from her Dad for 6 years. We both have new partners and have both had other children. Over the years he has always been difficult with paying me money for DD, he is of the opinion that he should not have to give ME money for her but spends money on her when she is there (????)
...Anyway CSA were originally involved but we came to a mutual agreement about three years ago that he pay me £108 per month. I have never been happy with this, he earns around £22,000 per anum but was constantly faffing around with his hours for the purpose of CSA assessment and would lie about the number of nights she was staying there etc... in the end I just had to accept it and move forward as it was dragging me down.
DD sees him about once a week/fortnight and no longer stays over which is mainly her choice as she does not get along with evil stepmother. I do think that ex could do more to facilitate a good relationship but thats a whole other thread!

Thing is.. Ex has recently been left quite a hefty sum of money by his Dad (£250,000), I really think that he should pay more towards his daughters living expenses but I know he will resist with a vengeance

I would appreciate peoples opinions on this
one please.. do you think I should ask for more money? Or should I leave it? I am thinking of another £50-100 per month so won't break the bank. Also does anyone know if CSA became involved again... would they take that money into consideration?

I think you should get the full amount you are entitled too. I cant do the maths but go get it.

I really don't think that the csa will take that money into consideration. i thought it was supposed ot go by a % of his earnings.

It would make me v angry tho, if I was struggling to provide everything for a young person/almost teen, had my ex had been left a wad of cash. It would only seem fair that he should give you a few grand, to put away for trips, uni, driving lessons for your dc.

Is the amount he is currently giving actauuly still in relation to his earnnings. Can they reasses?

ffrom the csa website...

If you are the parent with care, we might look at the amount of child maintenance again in the following circumstances.

? If the non-resident parent has assets (money or property) worth more than £65,000.

Ooohh thank you for your replies. Pirate, the money he currently gives me is less than it would be if he was paying via CSA. The problem was that when we were with CSA he would faff about ALL the time and was always asking to be reassesed and reducing the hours he worked over the assessment period. He can be so vile that I just took the £108 for an easy life in the end to save all our sanity. We now have a private arrangement.
Thing is, he buys DD NOTHING! I pay for all her clothes, trips, music lessons etc, he doesn't even give her pocket money. He does get her some Xmas and B'day presents but he seems to think he is MR wonderful for doing this. God it makes me angry writing all this down!

In the past when she has asked him for things, he has replied 'thats what I give your mother money for'

I know that if I ask for more money, he will refuse, and much as I am loathe to do it.. I would need to go back down the CSA route. Thank you midorimum for that info its really helpful.

my friends ex is a milionaire, he wont pay a penny to there daughter, and csa wont do anything as he doesnt have an income to take from.... he lives off his fortune

it is a terrible system, and very unfair

mmelody your ex is paying less than the 15% but if he now has other children in the household it would reduce so you might not end up with any more anyway, infact it might even come out less. The money you get isnt a mega amount but it £25 per week more than a lot of lone parents get from their ex's and they have to struggle on their own whereby you have an extra income coming into the household, you can try asking him for more money but by the looks of it it would be a struggle and some men have been know to jack their job in altogether, it might be something your ex would do as he has inheritance coming his way.

mmelody - from your history, it sounds like it would be a terrible struggle for you to get more money off him on a monthly basis and may not produce a good outcome anyway. If I were you, I would ask him if he would consider putting some money in a savings account for your DD as a university fund (or something similar) - I mean a lump sum from his inheritance, not regular payments. I don't really know how much money I am thinking of, depends what he is like - it is a huge amount of money to inherit!

agree with crokky, perhaps suggest to him 20-30k for uni/wedding/house dep fund for his DD. alot of men think, why should i give more monthly, how do i know it's being spent on dd, etc...... so may be a way that he has control of money, but you and dd can see that he his thinking of HER future