He's his dad not childcare?

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Split from my ex 8 months ago. We had a childcare arrangement in place where he takes DS two days a week and I pay for a days nursery so I can still work but I have had to reduce my hours. Currently he does no weekends and does not pay child support yet he does bank shifts with work frequently. For note I live in England as a lone parent with no family living here. He lives with his mum, brother and stepdad and has lots of family close by. I asked him if we could change our childcare rota around so I could work the odd weekend (nhs so I get enhancement pay) and to be honest I think it's only fair. He will never take him if I was offered to go to a hen do once in a blue moon or any event. I also buy all his clothes and send them to his dad's, pay for nursery so he doesn't have to take him the third day and even bought the travel cot, mattress, sleeping bag etc for his dad's house. The response I get is that he is his dad not my childcare so will only see him on his terms? Which I think if I didn't have a schedule in place sadly would be once a month as he doesn't seem to care. There has been issues in the past with domestic violence and controlling behaviour so not really sure what to do in this situation. Any help would be appreciated

Honestly I wouldnstop facilitating him seeing his son and let the relationship fizzle out. Could you find a childminder that does weekends?
Go the cms so he has to pay maintenance.

Why does he not pay child maintenance?

Doesn’t he pay any CMS? If he’s taking that stance, he’s a father not childcare then he should contribute to the childcare: do you have an estimate of how much he earns? Have a look on www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance it’s £20 to put a claim in.
Deffo contact them as something is
More than nothing.
If he won’t look after his child so you can work, can you reach out to MIL?

Sort out proper maintenance through CMS. You can’t make him do his share of childcare but you can get him to make a proper contribution to his child’s costs.

To be honest I haven't asked him because he knows I rely on him for childcare. Hes always saying things like let's see how u manage on your own then and then won't show up for DS as a result u have to ring into work. I fear if I ask him he won't see him at all and I will be stuck. I work long days 7.30-8 so alot of childcare providers won't open that late so I've been looking into extra nursery and then having a babysitter or nanny to collect him for the few hours but it's all so expensive. Just feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place at the minute. In regards to weekend childcare that's hard to find, it is available but also very pricey.

Lousy that he doesn’t want to see his dc more. Go through CMS.

@Longestsummerever23444 sadly the MIL will not help. They where always great when we where together telling me they will always support me no matter what as they knew about his outbursts then when I did finally leave one day they where all nowhere to be seen. Even when he claimed he has to self isolate I asked if she could collect him from nursery for two hours and she said no apparently she has a sore foot and has done for months now yet still works

Well he is right, not saying that it’s good but he can’t be made to see him anymore than he wants to.

My kids dad doesn’t see them at all 🤷‍♀️

It is difficult when the nrp doesn't cooperate. My ex was hit and miss with seeing and kids and paying. So I stopped engaging with him.

Childcare with a child minder is a lot more flexible and a more homely environment. Mine was lovely and never once let me down over the years she had the children.

Money through Cms. They aren't great for those who avoid paying by going self employed etc. But if he is an employee. They will catch up with him.

Then let him know he can see dc every Sunday at x time. Whatever works for you. No chopping and changing no being hours late. He comes at nine you will wait 30 mins then get on with your day. He will rage because you are taking control. Let him. Grey rock everything. Don't get drawn in. Money through Cms. Contact is in x day.

You have years of this. So take control now.