Hi all.
I'm currently going through the family court with ex partner. He's been found guilty of domestic abuse, and child abuse. Throughout my daughters life in the former family home, she was subjected to cruelty and abuse both emotionally and physically by her father. I did a pathetic job of safeguarding her as I was paralysed with fear. I'm sure if you've read my other posts you'll know our back story. But I picked up our lives and ran and we started again.
Developmentally she's come such a long way, I'm so proud of her.. Her speech, fine motor skills, physical development has come leaps and bounds..
She currently sees her father once a fortnight in a contact centre with no signs of that changing for quite a while. However awful it is for me, I do my very best to make sure she's aware of a contact weekend and I tell her that she will be seeing him and that mummy will be waiting for her and that mummy will come back.
My worry now is, her nursery have reported that it's now become increasingly obvious when she is having contact with him and that her behaviour is a stark world of difference from the happy little girl she normally is. The latest worry now is that whenever she has a nursery related injury or a scratch or bruise from falling over, she will say her daddy did it.. There are still vestiges of trauma as she has heard, witnessed and been subjected to things that no child should ever have to experience :( she tells me she's constantly scared of him.. She tells me she wishes her best friends daddy was her daddy as her best friends daddy doesn't hurt her or make her sick and poorly. I don't know what else to do other than reiterate to her that mummy is here and mummy keeps her safe.. Whenever she says these things i say her daddy loves her.. But I can't bring myself to lie to her and say he's a good person. I was told by her health visitor not to lie to her. I never talk about him or denigrate him. But I feel at a loss as to what else I can do to support her whilst court proceedings are currently on going and thereafter. Her father was never around whilst we lived with him so she's been with me since day 1, in her entire life I've never spent a night away from her, so she is incredibly attached to me.. Which I love...I just don't want her to be scared. The things she's been saying have really been worrying and her nursery are documenting absolutely everything.
I just wanted some further ideas on how to support her and make sure she doesn't feel scared.. Thanks