I feel like a monster!

[Summerrainagain]

Hi all,
Really really struggling today.
I'm a single mum (last 5 years)
Minimal support from DS's dad & my own family. DS is 9.
I dread the summer hols. Juggling act, childcare tricky, my job is full on & zero time to myself apart from the eves when I'm exhausted.
Away with friends/kids for a few nights last week. A few glasses of wine, kids to bed very late/up very early. Last night was the first night I've had zero alcohol in about ten days (I have had at least one glass of wine per eve but no more than 3...)
Today I am all over the place. Shouting & yelling at DS, crying, overwhelmed by EVERYTHING! Just us spending the day together & I lost my shit so many times. DS wasn't being very cooperative at times but I literally felt like I might explode on about 5 occasions. DS looked upset & shocked. I was horrible.
Could this be withdrawing from the booze? Reaction to lack of sleep?
Single mum overwhelmed-ness?
Any support/thoughts greatly accepted as felt like I was going MAD today.
Now feel so low & shit.
Apologised to DS and tried to explain how stressed I am at the moment but he was just silent.
Feel like a complete failure.

I think you need to be much kinder to yourself. You’ve not had a terrible amount of booze, you’ve been away and you’ve never had more than 3 glasses. Honestly, yes it’s right you need to have a few nights off it as 19 nights was a long stretch, but to label it as anything serious is OTT. You’re doing a great job, on your own. It’s blooming hard work and you’re allowed to find it tough. You’d not be human if you didn’t loose your shit every now and again. Not got the answers for making life easier, but be kinder to yourself about how you’re handling it 💐

Sorry, 10 nights!

Sounds like you desperately need a break from other people and being 24/7 childcare and at nine, children still don't have much empathy. It's so hard. Hope you can get a break.

Thank you @Cloudyrainbows321
Off to bed now. Just feel like the most horrible parent ever.
I need to work out what triggered everything today.

@GettingUntrapped yeah, pretty sure I need some time for myself - my mental health is definitely not good.

Single mum here. You are not a monster. Sometimes life is just completely overwhelming. Tomorrow is a new day, and thankfully kids have short memories! Don't try to do everything. Do what you can and leave some of the housework, it really doesn't matter. Drink plenty of water, breathe deeply tomorrow and be kind to yourself.