Relocating to new city as single parent, how to coparent? HELP

[LoneParent101]

Hi, I'd love some advice or opinions on this please. My son is 8 and for as long as I have remembered I have wanted to move to a new city, for better job opportunities and because my friends live down in the midlands.
When I have brought this up to my sons dad he gets very angry and starts threatening court for custody. He says I can go as long as I leave my son here which obviously I couldn't do. I did offer to drive or travel up every other week and he could come down to see him and then school holidays keep him etc. But still unreasonable he says, which I can understand but it's causing resentment because I feel trapped in the city I'm living in currently.

Has anyone moved city in a similar situation? If so how did you handle your ex and coparenting or am I horrible for even considering it?
I don't believe he would win custody if he did try as I am main parent and deal with all the serious stuff he's more the 'fun parent'. Please help 😔

How far away are you hoping to move? How ols is dc? What's the current contact schedule?

2-4 hours most likely. And he's 9 now so not massively young. And he currently has 2 nights a week with his dad

Sorry but I think yabu. That’s a huge distance to move and it’s unfair on your child to move that far away from his dad when he’s used to seeing him 2 nights a week.

That's a massive move and your ex isn't unreasonable imo.

My ex initially moved that distance away and did all the driving and I felt really sorry for the kids and him for having to drive that much. 4 hours away = 16 hours of driving every other week. Do you really want to do that? Would you not feel guilty that your son is in a car for 8 hours every other weekend because you wanted to move ?

Are there any places closer that you can move to?

11 years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, stay where you are and move once DC is 18.

I work with teens, some who have parents that live a similar distance, they hate it. They hate going back and forth, they hate not being able to make arrangements with their friends, they hate that they can't take part in hobbies. They have told me that it was OK before because although their parents lived apart they lived relatively close and they could still see their friends, go to work, take part in hobbies and parties at the weekend and just went back to the other parents house to eat and sleep etc.

YABU. Completely on your ex's side here. How would you react if it was the reverse and he wanted to move hours away with your son?

Maybe within a hour would work? But this will be minimum 2 hours weekly return to drop off your son at his dads just on the commute which can be onerous on you and your son.

As mentioned, in 11 years your son will be 18 and this will open up freedom to move.

This is always the response on here.

Men move away all the time.

It does need to be in your ds's best interest.. between 2-4 hours is a huge difference.

What opportunities are their for ds in this city?