What would you take this to mean?

[PumpkinKlNG]

Just want to check if I’m unreasonable or how others would have taken this, if your ex said the contact he wanted was taking the children out for the day every 2 weeks (no over nights, or not to his house, purely only wanted to take them out for the day) what would you take that to mean by “out for the day?”

Pick up after breakfast and drop home at bed time

I'd take it same as above poster.

I would want to know why he didn't want overnight or more than one day.

2 d per month will be very hard for the child to maintain a relationship

All day. More to the point, is there a good reason he can't have them overnight? Is he at least therefore contributing 7 nights a week worth of child maintenance?

While I wouldn't want my DC with someone who doesn't want them or isn't able to cope, no overnights doesn't help the kids' relationship with him either. It will also make life a lot harder for you to catch up on all the extra things that are harder when you're a sole parent with kids around, means you'll have to organise/pay a babysitter every time you go out, means that eventually if you want to date it will be very difficult. Not a great way to set things up.

Ahh thank you! Glad to hear I wasn’t unreasonable with my expectations! I thought by day out he meant cinema, museum, etc you know a “day out” ...no he meant taking them to the park on the corner of our road for ONE hour, once a fortnight.

That's shit. I'd assume that 4-6 hours assuming that none of the children are young enough to need a nap. The 4 hours is because a lazy person would pick them up after a meal then drop them off before the next meal.

Assume you are ensuring Cms don't let him off being such a twat...

What a twat. And what's he planning on doing on the days when it's pissing down with rain, as it so often is.

I would assume that he's basically not going to have any contact, the hour every other week isn't going to happen.

You have my sympathy, my ex was a total twat and still is, my DD once asked a man in the local shop if he was her dad because he looked vaguely like him and she hadn't seen him for so long.

Don't make any plans around his "visits" cos I can pretty much guarantee they won't happen for long.

That's a good point about the weather. Saturday looks stormy here and it's going to be winter before you know it.

This is the man that hasn’t seen them for years??
Do they even want to go with him?

@PumpkinKlNG

Ahh thank you! Glad to hear I wasn’t unreasonable with my expectations! I thought by day out he meant cinema, museum, etc you know a “day out” ...no he meant taking them to the park on the corner of our road for ONE hour, once a fortnight.

That's not a day. That's an hour.

Yes sadly they are desperate for a relationship with their “father” despite him not bothering with them no one wants to feel unwanted I guess, no it’s not a day out but clearly I misunderstood what he meant by day out...

Yes I'd assume at least a 4-6 hour period. Pick up after breakfast and drop off mid/late afternoon kind of thing.

Not to mention that only wanting that little contact is fucking pathetic anyway!

How old are the kids? Has he clarified why hes unwilling to parent his children to any extent?

He has lodgers so the kids aren’t able to stay at his house, it’s also not worth him taking them for just the day because it’s 4 hours travelling on public transport (2 hours there and 2 hours back) in one day so not workable.

So he's travelling 2 hours to get there, spending 1 hour with them and then two hours back? What if it rains? What happens in Winter??

For that kind of travel, id expect to collect then about 10 am and return them between 4 and 6.

Who moved away?

Yes basically, I don’t know what his plan for winter is, that’s up to him to make arrangements. We both moved.

@PumpkinKlNG

He has lodgers so the kids aren’t able to stay at his house, it’s also not worth him taking them for just the day because it’s 4 hours travelling on public transport (2 hours there and 2 hours back) in one day so not workable.

Is there a reason he can't therefore pick them up from school on a Friday and bring them back on a Sunday? Or even you go and pick them up?

Because he has lodgers, we have 4 children and he has lodgers in every room. There’s no rooms or beds for them. (Last I knew he slept on the sofa in the living room but I don’t know if that’s still the case)

@PumpkinKlNG

Because he has lodgers, we have 4 children and he has lodgers in every room. There’s no rooms or beds for them. (Last I knew he slept on the sofa in the living room but I don’t know if that’s still the case)

Well you couldn't do that, could you? Does he at least contribute proper child maintenance?

Ahh I remember you

No point flogging a dead horse perhaps use the time to pee in peace the kids will probably get fed up and not want to bother eventually

He doesn’t pay child maintenance but that’s a whole other thread!