Feel like such a failure

[TheOrigRights]

DS2 aged 12.
Sits in his room, blind down, playing x box pretty much all day.
I work from home.
He has one friend he wants to play out with. Said friend always seems to be out shopping with his parents.
I signed him up for fancy football camp. He went for one day and hated it.
He said he didn't go out on his bike because of mechanical issues. I got those fixed. He still won't go out.
Many of his mates are also on xbox all day.
He doesn't like going to D's house cos he doesn't like his Dad. He doesn't like going to L's house because his Mum smokes.
He doesn't like going to E's house because he lives on a farm and he gets quite unwell with the harvest (fair enough).

He doesn't want to go to the pool or the gym or to town.
He doesn't want to do ANYTHING.

I give him lists of jobs to do. He does them.
He has a good book to read.

It's like a voluntary lockdown.

I am so ashamed. I have 2 1/2 more weeks of this and then we are away for a fortnight.

I wish I had some support - just someone to take him out for the day.

He is old enough for me to leave alone and I want to go to running club this evening, but I feel so bad because that's the time I should be with him.

I might just go and sit in Costa or the library and use their Wifi to work. It's suffocating me here.

I have a 12 yo , would spend all day on laptop/phone.
They have 2 hours laptop and 2 hours phone a day.. sounds a lot but when on laptop also on phone!
The phone and laptop are taken if they not sleeping, being cheeky, naughty.

I make them come out with me either to park,shops or for a walk every other day. They say no they don’t get phone or laptop.
May sound harsh but my dc needs fresh air and away from tech for a while

They also have a day a week tech free.

Stick to the rules and say what your mean.

I’m a single parent of 2..never compare your parenting to others

He does come out in the evening with me, but I won't lie - I am resentful.
I want him to be going out with his mates in the day when I am working, so I can have some time for ME doing my exercise in the evening.

What do they do on their tech free day?

This seems to be a common theme with young children who have unlimited access to consoles. Gaming has been linked to all sorts of mental health issues

Im Guilty of my eldest being in his room for long periods of time. My Ds does not have any friends to go out with. But I send him on errands once a day. And he walks the dog once a day. My days off he is happy to come out and do things with the family. And we eat together in the evening and watch the odd film.

I've got 2 weeks off and he has a week at grandparents. So I think we have an ok balance. But I would love him to have someone to hang out with.

@LtDansleg

This seems to be a common theme with young children who have unlimited access to consoles. Gaming has been linked to all sorts of mental health issues

I am aware of this.

This is meant to be a supportive forum.

Do you have any suggestions I could try?

@LtDansleg

This seems to be a common theme with young children who have unlimited access to consoles. Gaming has been linked to all sorts of mental health issues

While I think this is absolutely true in some cases, its also been proven to be positively impactful. Especially after this last 18 months - for many, many people, playing outside or even inside with kids their own age has been impossible for obvious reasons; the social side of the internet alleviates a lot of the social stress that isolation has put on us. Add that to the fact that kids are already more used to the idea of electronic communication as a social activity and well... they can almost get hooked on that social side as much as the games or entertainment itself. Unless there are other signs of beign down I wouldn't be too concerned, though it is 100% worth bearing in mind and watching for!

It's so easy to be overwhelmed; outdoors wasn't possible for most until recently and that's a big change even for adults returning to work. Maybe our kids need help figuring out the new normal, too.

OP, try not to fret, you're doing the right thing by encouraging outdoor stuff, and certainly, keep trying. Another commenter made a point about outdoor trips being mandatory for electronics, which may not be a bad option if you think DC would be okay with it. I'm going to track this thread for ideas for my DS, as he's pretty bad for it, too!

Get Microsoft family. And restrict access after certain hours.