my sons dad lives 90 miles away, he looks after him every other weekend when he can. He does the travelling thank god! as i am always so exhausted and broke i couldn't do it. Our son has had some problems related to his dd leaving, 2yrs ago(he is now 41/2) This problem is now resolved, but he is still hurting me(pinching,pulling my hair,biting, hitting) I think because his dd sees him for a short time, he doesn't want to discipline him and he comes back a bit wild, all the hard work on boundaries and good behavior i do, have changed. his dd doesn't want to say no to lots of things (like hitting)He says he's 'play fighting' and is 'happy to see him,' but he does actively encourage him to be (tough) and as a result he comes back doing it to us. (me and my eldest son)There may be an element of guilt in there too, so he allows him to behave aggressively. sometimes i think it might be better that he lives with his dd as he likes a lot of rough play and outdoor activities. i do my best to accommodate his needs and encourage gym and outdoor play. His dd has said he wants to raise him, but not sure how he would cope and how ds2 would really feel if he were to live with him, his behaviour might worsen, and he may feel rejected by me, however he does have a strong bond with dd and seems to prefer the company of men rather than women. He is continuing to say and do things to me that can be hurtful, like i'm going to put you in the bin, or i'm going to kill you! i don't take it seriously, but i do think he is angry with me that his DD not around anymore. I am worn out with his behaviour and his dad is not supportive or possibly not equipped to challenge him with bad behaviour towards me, it's as if he wants him to do wrong by me, to champion himself,it's disrepectful and damaging. when we were together, he discounted most things i said and wanted to take over, he wanted our son to himself. i have raised my other son well and he is a good kid, it effects my relationship with my him,which i am sad about,he is 15. I am in a real dilema about what to do for the best,i love my ds2 and want to look after him, but he is wearing me out to the point of real exhaustion with his miserable disposition, whatever i do, he's usually not satisfied. I am torn between two boys needs and it is very difficult to accommodate both on my own. What should i do? i'm wearing myself into the ground and not giving my eldest son the time he deserves. DS2's dad isn't very reliable but has said he really wants to raise our son....but is it a good idea due to the history?