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Lone parents

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STBX cancer, too much strain

1 reply

Earlgrey19 · 27/07/2021 21:37

I’m feeling pretty low and stressed. After a long time feeling unhappy in marriage where there was borderline (or maybe actual) emotional abuse going on I separated. 2 young DC under 6. STBXH was diagnosed with cancer just as I was mentioning separation. I’m exhausted dealing with his illness, the single parenting with him not seeing kids during 6 months of treatment over lockdowns, his difficult behaviour post separation, ongoing financial worries, then a new relationship I tried with a friend in which I was badly hurt by his very messy behaviour, not knowing what he wanted, repeatedly pulling me to him and then pushing me away. It’s over but now I have to see him at work.

Last week STBXH declared his GP had diagnosed terminal recurrence of cancer from a swollen lymph node, and he created high drama, including letting himself into the family home where I live and declaring he’s moving back in (he’s not), then it turned out his scan results came back clear and there is no recurrence. I am utterly emotionally exhausted and angry too.

I have an interview for a new job, it’s more money, but it’s in the middle of my camping trip solo with the DC, and it would be a very different role so big change and in a different city: I’d have to commute/works some days at home. I know it’s a good opportunity but I just don’t know if I can face the stress of a job interview, changing holiday plans, and major upheaval in work when I have been under such stress and strain…

I socialise with lots of couples who are parents at my DS’ school class, and they have their family intact and financial security and I feel alone, scared and in a broken situation by contrast.

Should I do job interview? I feel anxious and exhausted at the thought.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 27/07/2021 21:40

Yes you should do the interview. It is such a lot you are having to manage. I used to look like the wife with the happy family. I most definitely wasn't. Can you get your locks changed?

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