I’m feeling pretty low and stressed. After a long time feeling unhappy in marriage where there was borderline (or maybe actual) emotional abuse going on I separated. 2 young DC under 6. STBXH was diagnosed with cancer just as I was mentioning separation. I’m exhausted dealing with his illness, the single parenting with him not seeing kids during 6 months of treatment over lockdowns, his difficult behaviour post separation, ongoing financial worries, then a new relationship I tried with a friend in which I was badly hurt by his very messy behaviour, not knowing what he wanted, repeatedly pulling me to him and then pushing me away. It’s over but now I have to see him at work.
Last week STBXH declared his GP had diagnosed terminal recurrence of cancer from a swollen lymph node, and he created high drama, including letting himself into the family home where I live and declaring he’s moving back in (he’s not), then it turned out his scan results came back clear and there is no recurrence. I am utterly emotionally exhausted and angry too.
I have an interview for a new job, it’s more money, but it’s in the middle of my camping trip solo with the DC, and it would be a very different role so big change and in a different city: I’d have to commute/works some days at home. I know it’s a good opportunity but I just don’t know if I can face the stress of a job interview, changing holiday plans, and major upheaval in work when I have been under such stress and strain…
I socialise with lots of couples who are parents at my DS’ school class, and they have their family intact and financial security and I feel alone, scared and in a broken situation by contrast.
Should I do job interview? I feel anxious and exhausted at the thought.